A Heart Doesn't Forget (Fanfiction)

Chapter 16: Who do you want to be then?

"Good mor-"

"I had a dream." I interrupted Calum, walking into the kitchen.

"So did Martin Luther King." He said, looking back at the eggs he was cooking.

"Who? Ugh, it doesn't matter." I said, shaking my head. "It was about...her. The girl I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh, right. Rebecca." He said, and unlike the other times I asked him about my memory, this time he seemed more irritated that nervous.

"Yeah, her." I said slowly, wondering why he said her name with almost...disgust? "It was like, another memory. They're happening more often now. Like, I barely just have dreams anymore."

"You're getting your memory back." He said, and his emotions when he said that were too hard to read. "Which is good, that's just what the doctor said. He suggested maybe writing them down, trying to put them all in order."

"Oh, okay." I said, and he served both of our plates.

"So," He said down at the table, "I'm guessing you wanted to share your dream?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah, well, it started at this church...thing. I'm not sure exactly what it was, but I'm guessing it was like some fundraiser or something? My mom had introduced me to Rebecca and I canceled some plans with Ashton. That was the first dream. "

He nodded, "You met Rebecca at a fundraiser that your parents had helped organize for the church. Both of your parents are really good friends, and you two instantly hit it off I guess. You were friends for a little while after that, but then eventually you started dating."

I exhaled deeply. This next part was going to be harder to explain.

"Well, uh, in the second dream....we were fighting."

That grabbed his attention, and his eyes immediately shot to mine. I could tell he was eager to hear the rest.

"What about?" He asked with a questioning/concerned gaze.

"Well, uh, a-apparently I cheated on her? With 'him' as he kept being referred to. We never mentioned his name. But like, she kept screaming at me about 'letting him do what he wanted' and 'it doen't matter that I was drunk' kind of shit."

"What?" He asked, confused.

"I don't know, fuck, I'm not good at explaining. Basically, we yelled, we fought, and she ended up leaving. She packed everything she had into this cardboard box, and left. She kept telling me telling me that the engagement was off, and how there's no way she could get married to me. What's that all about?" I asked him.

"Rebecca...she....after dating for, about a year, I think, you proposed to her. That was about, three or four months ago. The wedding was coming up soon...you really loved her."

I laughed bitterly, "Yeah, I freaking screamed it in the dream at least five times. She didn't care."

"I'm sure she loved you too, Luke. Just...not the real you." He said, and I turned my head to look at him.

"What do you mean?"

"This may sound confusing but...I don't think who you were was really who you wanted to be. You talk, act, even speak so much differenlty now, and I think this is the real you. Now that you don't remember how you were raised, or how you were told to be, you're who you want to be."

"That makes sense," I told him, "but it's just who I am. Not who I want to be."

He gave me a look that said, 'explain?'.