You should know this by now, but this is just a reminder that this is a pg-13 rating for a reason! Please take precautions when reading. This will be the last warning/reminder.
Also, there is a trigger warning, so please please please take caution when reading. I'm not sure what triggers people, but the last thing I would want is for anyone to ever hurt themselves. I'm not going to be saying this again, so just please, take caution.
Luke's P.O.V.
______________
I remember.
Everything.
I remember everything.
I wish I didn't, though.
I thought this was what I'd wanted. I thought getting my memory back was worth all the time and patience.
It wasn't.
In fact, I'd do anything to get that obliviousness back.
Because now, I know. I know exactly what I put everyone through, I know exactly how I treated Ashton before, and after 'it' happened. I know everything all the way back to my third birthday, where I almost drowned in our pool.
I remembered some things I didn't even know had happened. One in particular still haunts me now.
I can't get it out of my head. It doesn't make sense to me. So many questions, as always, started buzzing through my head. All starting with 'who', 'where', 'what', 'why', 'when', and 'how?'.
I didn't know how it happened, and I especially didn't know why.
It haunted me day and night. The memory so clear and vivid, it was hard to tell the difference between my memories and my nightmares.
It happened so long ago, and yet it still feels like it was just yesterday. I'm reminded of it every time I go to sleep, and every time I wake up shaking from the same nightmare. I've been afraid to sleep, knowing I'll have to relive it again.
It's stopped me from talking. Since I am too ashamed and afraid I'll say the wrong thing and someone will find out. I can't let anyone find out. I had already lost Ashton. I can't lose anyone else.
It's stopped me doing certain things, like being alone. Whenever I'm alone, I start thinking about it. The more I think about it the more I want to scream and yell, but that would increase the chances of someone finding out, and I can't do that.
It's caused me to work three jobs at once just to keep myself busy. Calum has tried to tell me I'm overworking myself, and that I need to sleep. I wouldn't respond, but always think in my head that not sleeping at all is better than sleeping, and having to live through it all again.
He doesn't know what happened, and I'd like to keep it that way.
"Hey Luke." Calum said in a soft, quiet tone as I entered the house for my thirty-minute break in between job #1 and job #2.
I didn't answer, but that was nothing new. I haven't spoken to anyone in so long, it's almost like I've forgotten how.
He didn't say anything else. He knew I wouldn't respond.
I went into my room, that almost feels unfamiliar with how little time I've spent in it.
I laid down on the bed, and was only planning on resting my head for about five minutes, but the exhaustion finally caught up with me, and I passed out.
***
It always started the same.
"He's a meanie." I said, tossing my phone carelessly onto the coffee table.
YOU ARE READING
A Heart Doesn't Forget (Fanfiction)
Fanfiction"Why won't you talk to me?" "Because you told me never to speak to you again." "Why would I do that?" "Because you hate me." "Why?" "Because I ruined your life." (Completed, boyxboy)
