Rookywriters Book Reviews

Review 18 @KimberlyTanithMarie

Book: The Heart Of Moss
Author: KimberlyTanithMarie

REVIEW

1. First chapter blues

* Summary / prologue - Well written. Right amount of information for summary. Good

* Intro to main character - Good intro to our main character, Mikayla on chapter one.

* Intro to Story - Good intro going on. I was thinking what if chapter one is divided into two and Damien's part comes in chapter two.

Why do I say this? if Damien comes in chapter two, then you will have a whole chapter to really show us who Damien is, not just telling us he is arrogant, with sharp chiselled jawline, and stuff. You get to explore more of him when he's got a chapter all to himself.

* Intro to genre - There was intro to romance in the first chapters. Nice.

2. Story Settings

* Description - Description of office and Mikayla's home was noted. The London location gave the story a positive vibe.

* Theme - The dominant theme going on is theme of falling in love, which the writer is only concentrating on. There can be other themes that can creep out and give the characters (Mikayla and Damien) a scare once in while. Example betrayals, doubt, forgiveness, past relationships, etc

* Intrigue / Suspense factor - There's basically no suspense factor. I was thinking Mikayla wouldn't easily agree to work for Damien. In chapter three where she talks with her friend, there could have been some arguments about going to work at Damien's company. This will create some suspense. She actually went the next day for the job interview. The decision to do that was quite quick. (In my opinion)

* Relation to genre - The story is intriguingly related to romance. Good.

* Time setting - Fast paced but worked well with the story.

* Character development - Nice and relatable characters. Good.

3. Story Tone

* Grammar - No issues with punctuations. Grammar usage was perfect.

* Dialogue - The dialogue among the characters exuded romance some words were quite seductive which is good for a romance book.

* Choice of words - Your words were soft and relatable. Any body can read your book. The London slangs was interesting to learn. Good.

* Chapter flow - Story flow from chapter to chapter was nice. There was no breakage.

* Writing voice - Good writing voice that almost matched with Mikayla's personality. Very relatable.

4. Creativity

* Plot development - Ability to create intriguing original scenes is what makes your creativity unique. Most scenarios in the chapters were pretty normal and predictable. I could tell what would happen next in the chapter.

What keeps readers engaged is not knowing what will happen next. Did she apply for the job? Was she accepted if so why, what's there any bargain? Will she ignore Damien's calls? Will she accept to go to his errands? What is the conflict going on?
I find myself scrolling through the chapters searching for where something new is happening. And most readers may not have that patience to do that.

She got fired and hired between chapter one and chapter three. Well, that was too quick I guess. Damien caused her former company to close down, there could be some kind of hatred or tension going on between two before they even agree to work together. (From my opinion)

Or maybe Mikayla is soft hearted. If that's how you created her to be, okay.

* Writing style - Your writing style for a first book is applaudable. Very matured and engaging. The part where Damien's father says,

'Don't worry son, you have started falling for the heart of Moss'

was pretty cool. You showed us where the title is connecting with the story. Amazing.

5. Personal thoughts - MiKayla, our main character's name and pronunciation is quite amazing. I like it. Though it gave me a tongue twisting moment...

The book cover and title have the design and feels of a poetry book and your writing style is quite poetic.

* Overall - Your writing style is beautiful and strong. The story as a whole is captivating. Relatable characters and beautiful description. You got a 10!

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