Rookywriters Book Reviews

Review 21 @findmysteryinme

Book: Soulmate Cookies
Author: findmysteryinme

REVIEW

1. First chapter blues

*  Summary / prologue - Good and catchy story summary.

*  Intro to main character - Good intro to the main character but still needs more information about her.

*  Intro to story - Good intro to the story.

*  Intro to genre - Since there's a hint of magic, the genre can be fantasy romance. Good intro to the genre.

2. Story Settings

*  Description - There is no full description of what the characters look like. This leaves readers guessing.  There are no facial expressions or gestures to indicate how they are feeling and body language.

You wrote more about them yelling, shouting, nagging, smiling, protesting, etc.

The description of the cafe was lacking. I hoped to see some beautiful decorations that could widen the imagination of the story.

*  Theme - The theme of romance I guess is still brewing.

*  Intrigue / Suspense factor - There is definitely an intriguing point in each chapter because the writer is intentionally making the situation mysterious I guess.

*  Relation to genre - Story is related to genre.

*  Time setting - Timing is noted only when Ivy wakes up in the morning and when the cafe closes.

*  Character development - There is no much background story to all the characters. Though readers will learn little as they read along, but there's need to explore the personal world of the characters and the existence of the cafe.

3. Story Tone

*  Grammar - There are few missing words and punctuation errors which can be corrected during proper editing.

*  Dialogue - The dialogues in some chapters didn't help push the story forward. I think you're trying to keep the readers in suspense but for the story to make progress, you would want to spill some information with their dialogues.

*  Choice of words - Good choice of words.

*  Chapter flow - Story flowed from chapter to chapter but I think the progress is purposely hindered a little bit by the writer. It's already chapter nine, if the progress continues to be delayed unnecessarily readers might get bored.

*  Writing voice - Your writing voice is very loud and clear.

I observed that findmysteryinme was speaking and narrating the story in her own way, and made characters do what she wanted and how she wanted it to be done. I don't know if this is good or bad.

Sometimes it is important for writers to allow the characters think for themselves, do things pertaining to the world that have been created in the story.

Ivy as a female character, got loads of potentials to be as adventurous as she wants with the diary and the cafe where she works, but it seems like the writer is only making her do things the writer wants.

This can hinder the story progress because if you exhaust your options for Ivy and the other characters, the story gets stuck.

But if the characters think for themselves, and have their own life, somehow the story will keep going.

So the mantra should be, what will Ivy do in this situation?

Not what will findmysteryinme do ...

My suggestion though.

4. Creativity

*  Plot development - The story plot is going quite well. With Ivy and the magic cookies saga, the plotting was done quite professionally.

But the question here is, what happens if she finds her soul mate cookie. Is there anything special they will accomplish afterwards, apart from falling in love?

I think it might be a suggestion to keep the story going.

Secondly, the writer sometimes needs to fill up the chapters with little information on where she is going with the story. Readers need to know what the writer is trying to accomplish with the story.

Especially when writing from the first person pov, everything seem to evolve around the main character and writers often forget to fill in some necessary details to keep readers abreast. This can be added.

Example, from chapter four to five, there's need to explain what is really happening with Ivy, what is she doing in the cafe, why is she chosen? Why is Eric her roommate, how long have they known each other? She keeps mentioning her father, what's happening with him? Is he dead or alive? Who is Darlena and Daniel? What's their private lives like? Etc

Writing about these points can fill up chapter four while she's awake thinking.

Same with other chapters.

*  Writing style - Writing style is fast paced and engaging. 

5. Personal thoughts - The title sounds like a K- drama which I really find catchy and fun.

The cover kind of have lot of fonts and colors going on. It's a bit difficult to read out the title or see the author's name. You can use one big cookie picture and then design the title and your name on it.

Like I suggested allow the characters to think for themselves, you have a big story idea, that needs to be explored fully only if you let your characters fly.

*  Overall - Good story, relatable characters. I really like this story and I want to see where it goes. You get a 9 out of 10!

#####