Rookywriters Book Reviews

Review 44 @transpunk

Book: Accidental Demon Summoning
Author: transpunk

REVIEW

1. First chapter blues

*  Summary / prologue - The summary literally is  funny in a way. It gives an impression of a 'not completely plotted book'...

Daisy, an aromatic, asexual teenager accidentally summons Asmodeus...

Well a character's sexual orientation is not any readers problem...what is important is why did she summon a demon? What led to the summoning? Was it for real or a joke? Does her family have a trace of demon blood or something? What are the consequences of her decisions? What does she want to achieve at the end?

*  Intro to main character - Main character is Daisy. We get to know about her in the first chapter.

*  Intro to story - I guess Daisy had nothing else going on in her life before the demon got summoned except school.

*  Intro to genre - intro to genre mystery not clear yet.

2. Story Settings

*  Description - Description of locations and characters was done properly.

*  Theme - Theme of accidental summoning ...or how to relate with an aromatic asexual or something... I didnt get any catchy theme yet.

*  Intrigue / Suspense factor - In the story there is more of surprising scenes than intriguing scenes.

*  Relation to genre - Well, the story is 98% teen fiction and 2% mystery.

*  Time setting - Timing was observed in the book.

*  Character development - Daisy... Daisy... Daisy... This character is a bit tricky to grasp. She's a teenager who accidentally summoned a demon. What else?
I love your characters especially Az, really relatable and well developed.

3. Story Tone

*  Grammar - Good grammar. No punctuation errors.

*  Dialogue - Dialogue between the characters was really fun and gripping. Good chemistry and tone.

*  Choice of words - Good choice of words.

*  Chapter flow - Story flowed smoothly from chapter to chapter.

*  Writing voice - Good gripping writing voice.

4. Creativity

*  Plot development - The plotting of this story...well I don't know of this story is potted fully to the end or writer just flows with whatever pops up as he writes. Whichever one is cool, I think there needs to be a defined mission or conflict that should push the plot. There's no need lingering the story with irrelevant scenes that leaves more questions than answers.

In chapter one, You mentioned Daisy having her share of family problems and summarised her life status in a few sentences. There's need to show us what is happening with her family, her friends and love life. No one accidentally summons a demon because she's bored.

Also the actual summoning scene...

Dagger in hand she crossed to the box. She didn't care about the books anymore.

The box was still and dark, black. Daisy bent over it again keeping the knife by her side and poked it. It was motionless.

It exploded with light throwing her across the room....

Did the demon guy explode out of a tool box or something? If he did then why? Is there any connection between the demon, Daisy's father and the tool box?

*  Writing style - Beautiful engaging writing style.

5. Personal thoughts - Maybe you started this book like a random thought so the plot is still wavering for now. You have a very good writing style and diction is great, you just need to work on your plot. Normally summoning a demon is supposed to be like an end to a turmoil or the beginning of a great adventure.

The book cover is a bit blurry at first glance. And the title is not that gripping. Let's say, I spill milk on the first chapter then I name my book, accidental milk spilling.

*  Overall - You have a gripping, well descriptive  writing style and strong voice. I'm yet to see the rest of the chapters. You get a 9 out of ten!

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