G R O U P C H A T | BLACKTAN

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lalisa
eyo what's up, what's up?

jisoo
eyo
sLEEP, LALISA

namjoon
why are y'all up at 2 am?

jennie
lalisa fucking manoban
istg
if you don't turn off the speakers
stay under your covers and sleep
i will kill you

lalisa
but unnie it's beyoncé

jennie
i know, lili
i love queen bey
but even her audio needs beauty sleep, mkay?
SO GO FUCKING REST

lisa
nO

chaeyoung
let her be, unnie
she's chatting with yerimie righ now
she'll be tired soon enough

jisoo
omg thanks so much chae child
i still don't know how you're more mature than lisa
and you both are the same age
tf

yoongi
y'all should sleep

jennie
nO

jimin
ironic how jennie asks lisa to sleep
but she refuses to do it herself

jennie
excuse me mr. park
it was a command not a question

taehyung
jennie!

jennie
wassup tae
got any tea to spill?

taehyung
do i ever
jin hyung told me this awhile ago
i'm gonna call you rn

jimin
smooth
we all know he isn't just spilling the tea

lisa
dRIVER ROLL UP THE PARTITION PLEASE

jin
my beautiful children
appa has arrived

jisoo
fucking finally
feed us we're hungry

jin
well i ain't feeding you with that attitude, young lady
that's for sure

jisoo
😒

lisa
oh
my
fucking-
everyone, take a look at dispatch

jisoo
wHAT THE FUCK
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

jennie
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?¿

chaeyoung
fuck.

jisoo
FUCK IS RIGHT, MISS PARK
YOU WERE FUCKING PARK JIMIN THIS WHOLE TIME
THAT'S WHY YOU INSIST ON GOING OVER EVERY THURSDAY
'CATCHING UP' MY ASS

lalisa
unnie wth are you talking about?
that's not what i meant
chae literally said she was dating jimin months ago
WHAT I MEANT WAS FUCKING KIM DAHYUN

jennie
the girl is literally psychic
she knows when every fucking camera in the vicinity is on her
how did she not notice this

lisa
but what if dubu did?
she just wanted a picture of her with yugyeom to spread around
speaking of yugyeom
CONGRATULATE YA BOI FOR ME, KOOK
DAMMMMMNNNNNN

hoseok
#2AMTHOUGHTS

taehyung
why tho?

lisa
idk. i'm thinking publicity
but thats probs not the case

jungkook
i got some peanut butter to spread
so
yugyeom said dahyun talked to him
he was bribed
they aren't really dating
heck JYP didn't even know about the stint they were about to pull off

taehyung
ohhh
why?
and what was he bribed with?

jungkook
something yugyeom could never resist
a month's worth supply of unlimited food courtesy of dahyun

lisa
honestly
i'm down for that
she should've asked me.

jimin
but you're dating jungkook

lisa
for food?
i'd ditch that bitch

jungkook
ouch

lisa
oh stop being a teenage drama queen
you're not lindsay lohan
but ily
anyway, babe
why'd dahyun bribe yugyeom?

jungkook
he isn't really sure as well
it was all fuzzy when dahyun told him the reason why
you see
his mind was elsewhere when she said 'free food'
but he did recall dahyun not liking someone

taehyung
hell yea
dahyun had a fight with miyeon from g-idle
apparently, the girl has a big crush on yugyeom
dahyun is doing this for revenge

jennie
my girlie
damn

chaeyoung
dahyun is making me gay
istg

lisa
what is it with everyone and cat fights

taehyung
idk
but from what i heard
they were fighting about those inkigayo sandwiches
apparently someone threw a fucking sandwich in the air
both miyeon and dahyun thought it was for them
but nah bitch
it was actually for sooyoung

chaeyoung
sooyoung as in rv sooyoung?

taehyung
the one and only

jennie
but like
isn't she dating sungjae?

taehyung
uh huh
some hoe thought she was single and wanted to make a move on her
but sungjae saw
and well, we know the rest

jisoo
tae
how do you know so much shit

taehyung
ain't telling you, hoe
ask jennie
...
idk if y'all read that, but thanks if you did.

ehee.

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