little white lies | grayson dolan

𝒻𝒾𝒻𝓉𝑒𝑒𝓃

•ＨＡＮＮＡ•

My eyes focus on the green journal in front of me. A pen is wedged in between my pointer and middle finger as I stare down at the blank page. My dorm room is silent, considering Cassidy went to go "make up" with Dean. I pull my lip in between my teeth as I bring my hand to the page.

Dear Diary,
I haven't written in a diary since I was in middle school. I found this in my draw and needed to express my feelings. Lately, a lot of things have been going on. I'm trying to reinvent myself in becoming a person that I would be proud of. I look back at last year and cringe at my party girl ways. I desperately wanted to act out, to try to break free of that "perfect all-american girl" that my father shaped me into being. Ugh, that's a different story. I'm starting to see the bigger picture in life. Wasting time becoming somebody you aren't is stupid. I finally cut Noah off. He's an asshole and it sucks that I took over a year to realize it. He doesn't like me, he likes my body. It's a good thing I have Ethan now. I don't know what we are, but I really like him. We both have such a passion for literature and classic novels. He's sweet, charming and the definition of a gentleman. I think that he could really be the one. I'm falling so hard for him. When we text, I can be my full self. I don't need to hide behind a mask. I hope everything works out in the end, he's really special to me.

I put the pen down and shut my diary before placing it back in my draw. Writing down my feelings always helped me cope with my stress.

I rise out of my computer desk chair and walk over to my closet. Grabbing a jacket, I place it on my body and fix my hair in the process. It's really peaceful to be alone in my room for once. After placing a few notebooks in my bag, I grab my room key and head for the door.

Since the party, I had a lot of time to clear my head. Talking to Ethan was so refreshing. I never open up like that, but it's so easy when it comes to him. A small smile forms on my face as I pull out my phone and go straight to the dating app.

hanna:
miss you♥

I can't get him out of my head. I think about him even when I don't mean to think about him.

Finally making it to my building, I inhale a deep breath. I seriously hope I don't run into Noah, sometimes he waits outside of my English classroom. I roll my eyes at the thought.

My phone buzzes in my bag, so I pull it out again. I blush when I see Ethan's name pop up, my favorite notification.

ethan:
miss you more, have a great day beautiful.

Fuck, his words make me melt. I happily walk into the classroom and place my phone back in my bag. I notice Professor Lewis is already here and concentrating on a few papers in front of him. I shrug it off and take my seat in the front row. I neatly pull my notebook out and flip to a clean page.

"All right, it's finally twelve. Please, put all of your phones away." He suddenly speaks.

I lift my head up to look at him, he's still looking down at a sheet of papers.

"Today we will be discussing the mid-semester assignment. Instead of writing an essay, I decided to switch it up this year."

I furrow my eyebrows and listen closely. The essay is on the syllabus, so I was already prepared for it.

"For this assignment, you need to work with one other person. Don't get too excited, I'm picking your partners."

A few students groan and roll their eyes, but not me. I lean forward in the seat, ready to take on the task.