BOOK TWO | bellamy blake imagines

15. hurts like hell

STORY CREATED BY octavia-marie-blake

You sit behind the thick, metal bars, looking at the trees outside the foggy window. It's silent. No one else has been escorted into the cell yet so you're currently on your own except for a guard at the entrance of the room. Whilst you're alone and suffocating in silence, you use this time to reflect on what you've done wrong: absolutely nothing.

All you did was defend Lincoln when the crowd was assaulting him. They shouted horrible things and started throwing rocks at him. You like to think you're at least a decent person, so when the guards didn't do anything you decided to act for yourself. When you pushed the crowd away from the Trikru warrior, things got messy and it was only then that Skaikru guards decided to step in.

Looking back, you could've handled yourself in less of an angry fashion. But you were fuming. Livid. Seething. And not even the guards could hold you back or dodge your punches. And that's how you ended up here.

Your back faces the entrance. You sit quiet and still, with no regrets. When Bellamy walks in, he signals for the other guard to be excused. His chest falls when he sees you, glad you're okay after hearing about what happened earlier today.

"Y/N."

The voice doesn't make you turn around, it just makes you freeze in the position you're in. It's Bellamy. You haven't spoken to him properly in a while and it's definitely taken a toll on both of you.

A main factor for this odd separation is the fact that Bellamy used to be this independent, strong leader. Now he's controlled by Pike and you hate it. The next thing you hear is the beeping of a card against the prison lock. The metal door swings open slowly and he steps inside.

"What are you doing here?" You wonder out loud, wishing the question sounded as calm as it did in your head.

"Making sure you're alright." He replies, sitting down next to you. The two of you share this calm moment, staring at the passing world on the other side of the window. "Trouble seems to have an eye for you."

You hum back, feeling the lowness of your mood taking effect. You don't want to have small talk with him when you know it's all bullshit. There's so much you need to say to him. When you talk to him about nothing, it infuriates you. Because he knows there's tension and things he needs to say.

Bellamy turns his head to look at you but you keep your focus on the green trees casting shade upon the window. "I'm sorry about what happened to Lincoln." He states, knowing how you and Lincoln were friends.

"Half of me wants to tell you that you should be because it's partly your fault." You reply, not accepting his vacant apology. It's hard for you to hear his words as sincere.

"And the other half?" He responds, aimlessly pushing the conversation away from the inevitable words that he knows need to be said between you.

"The other half wants to stay quiet."

There's a pause of silence. Bellamy's sitting right next to you yet he couldn't feel further from the person who's supposed to be his best friend. Something clicks inside him and he knows he can't stop the inevitable. "I'm not going to avoid this anymore so if you have something to say, say it now."

And all at once, everything comes rushing to you. Every emotion and sentence you've needed to let out. He notices the way your eyebrows furrow as your eyes begin to burn.

"I remember when I first met you." You start with a small smile etched onto your lips, "We landed and you were the guard opening the drop ship door to Earth." You laugh lightly before your smile turns into a tight line as you hold back tears. "I noticed you straight away because you were headstrong - determined to survive... a leader that I could work with. And it's been you and I for the longest time, surviving. But," you add, the tears too much to hold back so you just let yourself cry, "I don't know who you are anymore."

Shutting your eyes close, you refuse to look at Bellamy. "I'm the same person I was when we met." He responds, watching you with wide, anxious eyes.

"You're not." You shake your head, "The person I met would never let fear put himself on the wrong side."

He feels his heart sink and all he can do is watch you as you finally look at him. "I'm trying to help us, I thought you'd understand." His voice is angry and you watch as he stands up, stepping away from you in frustration.

"You don't see how you're ruining everything." You respond, standing up too but keeping your distance, "What happened today was-"

"-Not me. It was not me, Y/N." Bellamy defends himself, pointing to his chest.

"Bellamy, the fact that you're in a position of power openly acting against the grounders gives people like that a free pass to discriminate against innocent people like Lincoln." You state, making him go quiet.

"I'm me." He tells you, almost desperately, "I'm still your best friend, I'm still Bell." He steps towards you.

"Then I never really knew who you were." You wipe a tear from under your eye, wrapping your arms around yourself as you walk towards the window. Bellamy's in shock.

He stands there, watching you in bewilderment. "How can you say that to me?" His eyes are glossy and his voice is hurt. "When Pike came down and you started following his orders, I knew I lost you." You cry, sniffing as you turn back to him. There's no point shying away from his eyes, he's seen you cry plenty of times.

"You could never lose me-"

"-Well I did!" You snap - finally - as you watch him through tear filled eyes, "Remember us? We used to be inseparable. And now there's nothing. I don't know how to say this without breaking. It hurts like hell, Bellamy." You shield your face with your hands as you look down and sob slightly. "I hate it!" You yell as you look up at him again, "I hate everything you've done!" Tears stream down his face as he watches you, his chest heaving up and down.

"Y/N, please don't-"

Shaking your head fervently he stops his sentence because he knows you're not done. And he knows he wants to hear it. Your eyes are wide as you stare into Bellamy's eyes.

"All I've ever done is been in love you, Bellamy." You cry, looking at your best friend. "I loved and I loved... and I lost you."

Bellamy wonders how he's never seen it before. You're in love with him. Of course you are. He makes his way over to you quickly, engulfing you in his thick arms. You feel so small and fragile in his strong hug but you also feel comfortable as you rest your head onto his chest, letting your tears fall.

"I love you." You hear him mumble quietly into your ear, "I love you."

When you look up at him, his lips quickly meet yours as he kisses you. It's filled with passion and emotion and his hands are gripping your waist because holy shit you're kissing him back. He can feel himself fading away, as if he's losing himself in a dream. But then you abruptly pull away and look down, feeling his lips leave a wet mark upon yours.

His breath is heavy and you can feel it on your forehead as you place your hands on his stomach. Bellamy towers over you, watching you as he stays quiet.

"I never meant to hurt you like this. Or anyone. That's the last thing I wanted to do, I want to help our people live here in the best way they can." He admits, seeing the error of his ways, "And I don't think I can do that without you. And I don't want to."