COUNTRYHUMANS ONESHOTS (COMPLETED)

Crack Ship

739 words

I gave up. The other country is Belgium btw I just gave up

Netherlands needed to know if demons were real.

So of course, being the quirky aspiring witch she was, she went down to Broadway and tried to find the alleyway she was supposed to be at.

She didn't know dealing with demons would be this difficult, but if the government knew about them they were probably pretty illegal.

Well fuck the government.

Nether anxiously fluffed up her short blonde hair as she read the titles of "Dear Evan Hansen" on her left and "Hamilton" on her right. She was sure she was in the right place. While she was doing that, she questioned leaving multiple times. She felt like the police would come and arrest her, which they might.

Just as Nether was about to leave, a croaky voice from the alleyway spoke up.

"Bro you have to actually come into the alleyway."

Netherlands turned around to see Jamaica, her old drug dealer/ buddy. She tried to cut ties with him after rehab, but that clearly wasn't working out. Netherlands stepped into the alleyway, a little bit glad to get out of the wind. "So you sell demons too?"

Jamaica let out a dry laugh. "Yeah. Anyways, here you go." Jamaica handed her a card. It looked holographic, and it had a circle that looked like two arrow tips bent to reach the other one. On top of them, devilish cherubs sat looking at this larger devil figure. There was a figure in the circle, and when rotated it changed body type, horn style and length, and hair. Underneath the circle, the words "Your Perfect Devil Darling," was written in cursive.

"Ok so basically you put this card in a bodily fluid of your choice, make sure it's coated in it, and wait until a demon appears," Jamaica said, moving his long dreadlocks out of his eyes. "Oh, you also can't mix bodily fluids together. Like if you bleed into a bucket you can't piss in it."

"Thanks Jamaica," Nether said, stepping out of the alley.

"Good luck."

———

Nether panted, the last of it seeping into the bucket with a satisfying plop. She didn't know she could make that much. It was so sticky too. Nether dipped her hand in and watched as the liquid clung between her fingers on a strand.

She hadn't even cut an artery, how was she bleeding so much?

Oh well, it didn't matter. Soon she would see if this was the real thing. If not she would just report Jamaica to the police for drug dealing again.

Nether put the bowl with the card in it on her rug. The blood loss had made her tired, and she didn't really care about bandaging it. The cut on her palm smeared against the purple blanket as Nether flopped onto the bed. She weakly picked up her phone before dropping it on the ground and passing out.

———

Nether woke up to a gentle dip in her bed. She grumbled as someone shook her lightly on the shoulder. "Ma'am, wake up." The country mumbled a string of indecipherable words and tried to sink into her bed. She heard a sigh from the same voice. "I'll be in the kitchen. I can't wait to meet you."

Nether quickly jerked out of bed, but the voice was already gone. She practically jumped out of bed and ran down the hall. In her excitement, she tripped on the step leading up to the kitchen. She grumbled and got up to see a short woman with curly auburn hair looking at her with wide eyes. She was wearing a poofy light blue dress that reached the floor.

"Why are you naked?" She said, her voice raising an octave as she kept on looking back and forth at Nether. Nether looked down at her tank top and shorts.

"I'm not," Nether said, walking into the kitchen and grabbing an apple. The woman looked even more flustered as Nether moved closer to her. "What's your name?"

"My goodness, girl. Do you have anything decent in your wardrobe?" The demon scolded Nether while walking back down the hall. She came back a few minutes later with the white dress Nether wore to someone's wedding. She walked towards Nether, holding out the dress.

"That's way too fancy," Nether protested, pushing the demon away. "Look, before you start bossing me around, we have to get some modern rules down."

Then they all blew up the end