crumble | h.s

part sixty

*please listen to the song, it makes it all worth while i promise.*
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*beep*

Hi. It's Harry. But I guess you knew that.

Uhm...I've never done this before. I was going to write you a note...but...I don't know...I guess it would be better if you heard me say what I need to.

I guess I'm leaving this message to tell you...fuck this is harder than I thought it would be.

Okay. Here it goes.

Lydia White. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Plain and simple.

You changed me. Literally. You flipped my life around on its head and there was absolutely no stopping you.

And I am nothing but grateful for you and your soul.

I've spent the last months with you wondering how the fuck you're a real person. The world, to me, is a cruel, fucked up place. So how could someone as sweet and caring as you be put upon it?

But now I realize, you were my destiny. My life up until this point was made for you. And I was born to love you.

I was terrified of love...and...well I guess I still am.

But you...you made it so easy.

You made me feel something I thought I was incapable of.

It was in the way you smiled and your eyes would crinkle at the corners. It was in the way those eyes would light up whenever you were happy. It was in they way you play with your hair when you were nervous.

It was in the way you said my name...the way it sounded coming out of your mouth. The way I felt when you said it. Fuck, I'm gonna miss that.

I loved the way you played with my hair. I loved the way you looked at me.

To put it in simpler terms, I loved the way you loved me.

There's so much I wanna say. I don't have much more time.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ever hurting you or making you cry.

I'm sorry about your brother. I know he was a bad person, but baby I am too. You didn't deserve that pain. I wish I would've known.

You don't deserve any pain for that matter. You're too pure for this cruel place.

I'm sorry for bringing you into all of this shit. If it weren't for me, you'd be living your life normally, maybe you'd have that car you wanted so badly. I'm sorry for putting you in danger.

I'm sorry for making you deal with my demons. I've been going through so much and I was an asshole at some points. And for some fucking reason you stuck around. You shouldn't have. But you did. And I guess I wanna thank you for that, because I don't think I would have made it through some of this shit without you.

You light up any room you walk into. Fuck, you lit up all the darkness I had inside of me.

No one else has ever been able to do that, Lydia, no one.

You were the first person that ever cared for me. I still don't know how to handle that. I wish I could've shown you how much you meant to me more than I did...but I'm still learning how to do that stuff. I'm sorry.

I've been trying to hold on to the good. I've been thinking about the good times we had together.

Like our first kiss. I remember it like it was fucking yesterday.

I'm not cheesy, you know that, but that kiss was magic.

It was magic because it's what got me hooked on you. From that moment on, you had a hold on me and I didn't want you to ever let go.

Lyds, I know you're upset. I know how hard this is for you. Seeing your face when I left was the hardest thing I've ever had to endure.

You were so strong for me.

Now here's your chance baby, let it out. Cry. Scream. Curse me out. Curse the world out. You deserve it after keeping it in for the past week.

But promise me this.

Promise me you won't be sad for long. Promise me you won't let this stop you from living.

You're my little flower, Lydia. It's time to blossom.

I'm not gone. Even though I won't be there with you, I'm not gone. Don't forget that.

I don't know what's awaiting me when I meet my end...but just know I'll be watching over you no matter what.

So chin up, baby. Cry, let it out, and then move on and be strong for me again.

If it hurts, if you can't get past it...just try to remember that I'm okay.

Imagine I'm at the beach. I told you that's what my heaven was. So that's where I'll be. I'll be the wind blowing through the trees. I'll be the ripples in the water. I'll be all around you if that's what you want.

I've lived my destiny, Lydia. I met you, I loved you, now I'll die for you.

It's my time. I'm ready.

This isn't where our chapter ends. This isn't the end for us.

I will be waiting for you. I don't care how long it takes.

Okay. I'm out of time. I have to go.

So, this is goodbye.

I love you, Lydia White. Forever.

You're my everything.

*beep*

The End.
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