FINE LINE | HARRY STYLES

THIRTY-ONE.

JUNE, 2019. CONT.

I am officially empty.

Nothing compares to this hurt. Not even losing Harry the first few times. Because deep down, I knew we'd make it. I knew we'd get through it and it'd all be okay. Like the universe told me itself we'd be fine.

But this time, I don't think that's happening. Because the way he sees it, I betrayed him. I made an empty promise.

To him, I told him we'd finally be together. That we'd run off to a place we've fallen in love in. To be together for the rest of our lives.

And I can't even hear the universe anymore.

I don't even want to imagine how he felt seeing the headline. Because when I saw it I felt utterly sick. And then it was everywhere before anything could have been done.

The media wasn't too happy. They wanted me and Harry to be the ones to get married.

Hell, so did I.

For the past few weeks, I've tried to think of any way to get out of it. I can't marry him. I don't love him. Not to mention he's fucking insane.

I need to speak to Harry. I need to tell him everything. Even of the video of us having sex. Just so we can figure it all out. I can't do this without him.

I had my chance with him. My last and final shot at actually being with someone I genuinely love. But it was over now. And I don't know how to cope with that.

I spent a long time in bed. Acting as if I had food poisoning. Blair freaked out and decided to stay with me for a while so I could pick myself back up.

It hurt me not to tell her. I want to. But I know it could end poorly. Chances are River would find out I told someone and leak the video anyway.

I can't do that to Harry. I can't let the world see him like that. Not in his most vulnerable state.

Even if it means having to marry River. If it meant Harry would be okay, I'd do anything for him.

He hasn't answered my calls. Or texts. I couldn't visit because River would find out. There was no way of seeing him. Not without a risk.

He went home, I think. There were photos of him all over Twitter arriving at the airport in London. Chances are he needed to be around family. Around his mom who can put him back together. I don't blame him. I look completely evil.

His mom and sister surely hate me. And that devastated me. They wanted nothing more but happiness for me. I'm sure they're bad mouthing me now.

I never thought he'd hate me. He told me he could never no matter what. But now even I hate me.

"All packed?" River breaks the haunting silence.

It's been like that since he proposed. Just silence. Nothing to speak about. Nothing I wanted to speak about.

I nod, keeping my gaze on my phone. Maybe he'll wish me good luck for fashion week. Or maybe my number is blocked and he's forgotten my name.

I miss him so much.

"You're going to have to talk to me, Monet." He huffs.

"What is there to talk about?" I snap, turning to him.

River crosses his arms and shakes his head.