FINE LINE | HARRY STYLES

THIRTY-THREE.

AUGUST, 2019.

I hid out in London for as long as I could. River wouldn't stop contacting me and frankly, I had no idea what to do. I know he has the tape and he could use it at any time. But it seems he's more invested in wanting to speak to me first. So, I have to be careful.

Me ditching fashion week was everywhere. Everyone was trying to piece together why I could have disappeared. Not to mention, I started paying anyone who took my picture not to release it. It was a huge risk to be seen.

If River even finds out I'm here it's over for Harry. I can't let that happen.

He had woken up. I never went to see him, though. As far as I know, he's up and responsive.

He's okay.

That's all I need.

Blair went to see him. A few times. I'm surprised he wanted to see her considering she's close to me.

With Harry awake and coming home today, I figured it was time for me to head to my home and face reality.

Home.

Sure didn't feel like it anymore.

Hasn't for a long time.

Anne and Gemma tried to convince me to stay and see him, but I wasn't so sure he wanted to see me. So, I stand in the living room, waiting for the taxi with Blair.

"I don't understand why you're leaving." Blair huffs as she paces the floor.

"And I don't understand why you're staying. Last I checked you didn't think Harry and I should be together."

"I mean, I don't know. Things between you guys are always messy and complicated. But either way, the poor guy deserves an explanation."

"And he'll get one. After I figure everything out with River."

"How are you going to be so sure he'll comply? He needs you for his contract."

"Don't worry. I'm going to be sure I never have to see him again." I assure her.

"Why are you really leaving, Monet? You wouldn't want to miss an opportunity to see him or speak to him. So why?"

"Because...I just don't want to." I mutter.

"Monet." Blair scolds, glaring me down.

I let out a long exhale and look at my shoes. Just thinking about it made me feel light headed.

"It's my fault." It comes out almost inaudible. I don't even want to say it out loud. Because it felt more real.

"Your fault? What is?" Blair sits down beside me in curiosity.

"Why he's in the hospital. He was going to see me. I'm the reason. And it makes me think...he would have dropped everything for me. And that's terrifying. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve him."

"Mona..." Blair sighs heavily.

"My taxi's here. Just...when you see him, tell him I miss him. And I'll always love him."

"Why does it sound like you're going to disappear?" She carefully questions as she studies me.

I rise to my feet and grab my bag and phone. I don't even look at her when the next words leave my mouth.

"Because I am."

"Wha? What do you mean?"

"I'm going away. I don't think I can be around anyone for a while. After I settle things with River, I'm going to be alone. And frankly, if I can't be with Harry, I don't want anyone else." I shrug as I head for the door.