FIFTY-THREE.

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DECEMBER, 2019. CONT.

Our morning started at 4am with Harry holding my hair back as everything I've consumed in the past 24 hours spilled right into the toilet bowl. I knew it was bound to happen with how anxious I've been, and when I felt it, I tried really hard to be quiet so he wouldn't hear me.

But of course, he senses when the warmth from my skin is no longer against his own and came following. He didn't hesitate to drop down on his knees beside me and grab my hair, pulling it back as he rubbed circles into my spine.

The entire time he made sure to speak soft words into my ear to reassure my discomfort. It was moments like those that made me love him more and more each day.

When I was finished, he let me wash my mouth and brought me back to bed. He held me as close as possible until I fell asleep again. Only for me to wake up an hour later with the same issue. We decided not to sleep anymore after that.

It's about 8am now and I'm exhausted. I just want this day to be over already.

Harry fixed me a bath and I was in there for a while until it got cold. Now I've just been sitting against the bed frame in nothing but a robe as he showers.

Blair and I have been texting all morning as well. Unfortunately, she couldn't sleep either. Just the thought of River being capable of showing up at any time scared her. And I don't blame her.

Even Benny stayed with her to make sure she didn't feel so alone. I'm pretty sure she was happy about that.

"Are you hungry? Want me to order breakfast?" Harry's voice carries into the room as he emerges from the bathroom, nothing but a towel hanging around his waist.

"You can get breakfast if you're hungry." I softly tell him.

He shakes his head, "I'm okay. I'm too uneasy to eat."

My eyes follow him as he crosses the room and snatches a pair of boxers from his suitcase before sliding them on under the towel. Finally, he drops it over one of the dining chairs and exhales, making his way toward the bed.

The bed dips as he falls face first onto it, his face pressing against my thigh. My fingers automatically rest in his hair, combing the damp curls lightly. I feel his fingers tracing random patterns all over my leg, sending goosebumps all along my skin.

We sit in silence and his lips press against my thigh gently as if he's trying to comfort me. I think he can feel how rapid my heartbeat is from where he's lying on me.

"I should probably start getting ready." I murmur, fingers mindlessly tracing along his shoulder.

Harry props his jaw up on my thigh to look up at me for a moment. He nods slowly, almost hesitantly as if he doesn't want me to go.

Oh right, he doesn't.

"What if I go with you?" He proposes, sitting up on his knees to scoot close to me.

I shake my head, "Absolutely not. I have to finish this on my own. This is my problem. He wants me. You have to trust that I can do this."

"Of course I trust you. He's no match for Soleil Monroe."

I grin at him, pinching his cheek lovingly. It takes me back to when we first met and he'd call me by my full name because I called him by his.

I don't really try to get all dressed up. There's no real reason he needs to see me with a full face of makeup or a low cut shirt. Fuck that.

I'm going to wear Harry's hoodie over a pair of jeans. And Harry didn't hesitate to spritz his cologne all over the hoodie with a very proud smile.

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