Chapter 45

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A/N So I didn't get back till about half 3 in the god damn morning but I've been asleep and stayed in my pyjamas so I'm up for writing another chapter. There is a time skip as well I feel it will be better as I have some cool ideas that I wanna go with and need the time skip to make them happen.

Becca's POV

Today I feel a little weird and I'm not sure if it's because I'm shooting a video at Smosh today or because I had a very vivid dream about being back in the UK. I was able to fly home for Christmas and spend it with my family. I had to leave Pongo and Otto with Paul due to P's surgery. He needed it and there was an opening on the 22nd so I couldn't turn it down. Paul was happy to dog sit. I missed the both like mad but I knew they were in good hands and I really missed my family.

I loved being back home. I got there on Christmas eve morning and I couldn't have been happier. I spent the day with the gang singing jamming and just downright acting like idiots, it was the first time I felt safe there in years. It was so nice to be back home without having to keep looking over my shoulder for Jake.

 Jake was in jail and I was free, he got 15 years for attempted murder and I still can't believe I'm safe. When I heard the judge say that number I didn't know how to feel, I just sat there in shock with Shayne holding my hand. I did, however, hear him, Damien and Sarah cheer just loud enough for us to hear and no one else. I was just numb, the damage was already done and no matter what punishment he was given won't take it away. 

The evening of Christmas eve was spent how it always is in my family house all the neighbours come round and we get a little too drunk. This ends up in so many stories being told that would never be told any other time of year. I was home and loving it, it felt like I never left. I was caught up on everything that had happened since I was last home. It was almost perfect. The only things that were missing were Shayne, Pongo and Otto.

I was able to stay there for a month, not getting back to the US till the 24 of January. I missed Shayne and when I got back he spent the day with me just sat on my couch watching films, talking and eating take out. I missed him a lot but I really needed that time with my family and friends. I think they needed it too. Pongo was doing a lot better and he and Otto were happy to have me home again so they loved that we did nothing too as they got all the pets and love they could from me. And Shayne of course.

I was stood in front of my wardrobe with no idea what I was going to wear and I was getting annoyed

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I was stood in front of my wardrobe with no idea what I was going to wear and I was getting annoyed. I don't know why I care but I do. Maybe because this is my first time being in a video since eat it or yeet it and I want to have a better response from the fans this time. Or maybe it's because I'm going to get my fortune read and I believe in that stuff. Well to a point anyway. Either one is a good guess. 

"UGH. Why can't I pick what to wear?" I groan and flop back onto my bed.

After a deep sigh, I stood back up and just look at the inside of my wardrobe. I hated this feeling, I always wear what I want not worrying about what people will think. But even with Jake in jail I could hear his voice in the back of my head telling me everything I picked would make me look, fat, ugly, childish and so on. Like I said the damage was done and it was gonna take a lot more than jail to free me from what he had done to me. 

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