Finding Myself; The Man in The Mirror

Chapter 8 "Erica"

This chapter is dedicated to "Erica".  "Erica" and I work together but I don't get to see her as much as I would like since she is on third shift.  I was talking to "Marie" and she told me about her wild crazy dream but we won't go into that. It made me realize that 1.) I haven't come out to anyone in a while and 2.) I need to get the courage to tell my family. 

I didn't know how "Erica" was going to react. We had a few fun times together and she was there for me during my breakup. I cried so many tears with her. She was one of the people I knew that I could rely on. I finally figure what the hell. What do I have to lose?

I sent her a message on facebook because I didn't know if I could tell her in person. So I said "I decided I should tell you. I haven't told a lot of people. It's hard to do because of not knowing how people will react. I haven't told Crystal or my mom yet. Anyways I've been struggling with it for the longest time and Jenn kept me from pursuing anything. Now that we are not together I decided I need to do what's best  for me and what makes me happy. It's a long process and will take time. All I ask is for you not to tell anyone. I'm transgender. I been talking to my therapist about it and a close friend. So like the times that I have been upset was for many reasons and me hiding who I really am is one of the reasons. I'm sorry this is long. I'm struggling still trying to come out. Just know I'm still me and that's not going to change."

I waited for "Erica's" response. In a matter of seconds it seemed she responded back with; "I'll love you know matter what!!!!"

Just reading those words made me smile. Tears filled my eyes. I said back to her "I love you just for saying that."

I haven't seen "Erica" yet since I came out to her. I know that things will still be the same with us. I just hope that in the end I can finally come out to my family. Why does this have to be so hard?