Red Hot ~Nikki Sixx

Part 48: Sweet Pain

Hey all! Sorry for the delay but here is a little something for ya. This chapter is kind of a goofy one. Just a little break from the major drama...

Nikki's Diary

Silence. Dead fucking silence. It's been two weeks since I agreed to give Ashten some time and I haven't seen or heard from her since. Radio silence. No calls, no text messages, nothing. And with every passing hour I feel like I'm having to learn to live with my heart on the outside of my body.

Once again, I let an ex impact a relationship. It happened with Evil Bitch when we divorced and I started seeing Gold Digging Whore. And now Gold Digging Whore's bullshit is possibly destroying the one ray of light in my life.

I suppose I can blame her all I want but the reality of it is no one made me say the things I said to Ashten. No one made me abandon her in the hospital.

No one made me hurt her.

I am such a fucking asshole. There had been a much better way of dealing with all of that, but instead I got drunk and blew up at her. And now everything is in limbo.

Tommy's been tying to get me to hit up some strip clubs and bars with him. He's like a fucking picture book full of contrasts and contradictions. He gets on my ass about making things right with Ashten but wants me to go with him to get wasted and mess with strippers?? Because that is gonna make her run straight back to me?

What the fuck is wrong with him?

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Wonder what she's doing right now.....

********

After she texted Nikki and told him she would think about maybe considering reconciling, Ashten stress baked for an entire week. Scratch that. First, she camped out on her sofa in sweats for three days and cried that stupid, sobbing, breath stealing ugly cry she abhors.

Then she stress baked.

She made so many muffins, cookies, and breads that her kitchen looked like a bakery threw up all over it. To avoid stress eating until even her fat jeans didn't fit anymore, she piled Tommy's kitchen high, gifting him more baked goods than was probably socially acceptable. DJ, who was there one day cutting guitar parts in Tommy's home studio, assured her there is no proper limit on the quantity of desserts one can receive. Tommy concurred. Not that his opinions on food should be trusted. 

Ashten had seen that man simultaneously put maple syrup and sugar on his waffles.

The incessant baking continued for about a week and was immediately followed by another few days of wallowing. Then Jozie and Stella teamed up to save Ashten from herself, the final straw coming when Ashten answered her door with a Dorito in her hair and wearing the same pajamas she'd been in for an unknown amount of days.  They quite literally tossed her into a hot shower and forced her to rejoin the living.

It worked. The baking took a back burner and she threw herself back into the daily routine of being Tommy's assistant. While he was working on the new Mötley record, Ashten concentrated on getting his house ready for Christmas.  She hired people to tackle the exterior decor while she handled the rest. In no time Tommy had an enormous tree just waiting to be adorned by piles of gifts, as well as a fully, but tastefully, decorated home.

It's a damn good thing she was desperate to stay busy. Otherwise, left to his own devices, Tommy would have had his place looking like some kind of tacky and warped winter wonderland hopped up on a combo of amphetamines and Red Bull.