a drop in the ocean

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 Song For This Chapter : A Drop in the Ocean

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Song For This Chapter : A Drop in the Ocean

- Ron Pope

Grayson pulls me into his kitchen as soon as we enter his house, and pushes me gently into a barstool to seat me at the island.

"Eat these and drink this, I'll make you some Nutella on toast." He orders, after placing a bag of chips and a glass of water in front of me. He walks over to the toaster and places some white bread into two of the four slots.

"You okay?" He questions, leaning his arms on the island and looking at me with his beautiful green eyes. I chew violently until I'm able to swallow the chip in my mouth.

"Yeah." I tell him, my voice a little croaky from all of the crying, and since I didn't speak on the way here either. He raises his eyebrows in question, but then clearly decides to leave the topic alone. I lower my eyes to stare at my hands, anxiety flooding through me all of a sudden. I think the events of the night are fully catching up to me and causing my mental state to deteriorate. The toast pops up, and Gray gets to work by getting plates out, then Nutella and finally a knife to spread the toast.

When it gets placed in front of me, my appetite reappears and I feel my stomach's emptiness and craving for the Nutella toast in my reach.

"Thank you." I rasp, he just nods his head and walks around the island to sit in the barstool next to me. He rests his hand on my thigh as he brings his phone out of his pocket to write a message to the others, I'm assuming to let them know we're here.

I finish one half of the toast and after offering the other half to Gray, and him declining, I quickly gulp the other half down too.

I try to think of an idea where I can make this all better, to keep all of my friends safe and away from Brody. I've always hated the fact that he always seems to be one step ahead all of the time. I constantly have to expect the unexpected with him.

I never would've thought he'd have followed me here, but then I guess I know how much he hates losing. Maybe in his fucked up mind he thought that me moving away from him and his reach was losing. He couldn't play with me when I was at the other end of the country.

I truly hated him for coming here. He was going to ruin everything I had built for myself. I was stupid to think that everything was going to be okay for me just because I moved. I should've known that my past was going to catch up with me at some point, and I hate myself for not expecting it and preparing for it.

But then again, I had never had the intention to meet such good people, my friends meant the world to me.

Moving away would be the only option to keep them fully safe, but even then I believe Brody would be sick enough to use them against me to lure me back in.
I feel helpless.
This is all my fault and I can't even do anything to fix it.

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