The Compromise I Don't Regret

Chapter 49

Okay, so long story short, me being the dumbass I am thought I'd post the entire story altogether to surprise you guys... but unfortunately I'm stuck .. the story is not moving forward and hence I don't see that happening any time soon. But I didn't want to keep you guys waiting so here it is... I know it sucks... please bear with me... still clueless about how the story is going to be... meh......

"You idiots! Your party last night almost woke Ayath" Zara di threw her pillow at me as she complained. "How did you-" Amaan started but Zara di cut him off. " I'm not deaf bhayya. I have a baby so neendh tho dhoor ki baath hai na" she stated as a matter of fact in an annoyed tone. Oh shoot I wonder what she might be thinking about us but I'm thankful that she didn't say anything when everybody else was in the room. Najane kya kya sunni padthi. "And choti when you have a small Sameera or Amaan na... you wouldn't be able to sleep at night so sleep as much as you like at night. Unless...." she trailed off, the smirk clearly visible on her face. I gave here my pleading look not to embarrass me in front of Amaan. But guess Amaan was more embarrassed hearing his sister because he just excused himself pretending to get a call. I wonder when he'll change that stupid trick of his. "Di!" I whined as soon as Amaan was out of hearing range. " what? I'm really happy you guys are getting along" she said with a genuine smile which turned into a naughty smirk. "Di! He was hungry and I came to the kitch-" "oh my god.. I don't want the details this time" she cut me off as she smirked. "Di!" I whined again as I huffed out of the room. I checked the time and it was almost 2. Amaan would be leaving by 3 as his reporting time is 4:15. Sameer bhai would be dropping him off at the airport and I decided not to go. I want to go but a strange feeling inside prevents me from acting on it. I feel like I'll be better off not going.
I entered into my room to find Amaan shuffling through the already!perfectly!packed luggage. Ugh!This guy I tell you. This is the third time today. "Now what are you looking for?" I asked, annoyed. "Haan Sameera, did you see my blue shirt?" He seemed relieved seeing me and I very well know that the relief is for his blue shirt which I would have to find for him. "Amaan, you brought four blue shirts with you. Which one?" I enquired. "And are you sure I kept my black pen drive in my laptop bag and the blue file?" Ugh this man I tell you. "Amaan! Relax okay? The blue file and the pen drive are both kept inside the second pocket of the laptop bag. I'm pretty sure I've packed three of your blue shirts inside the luggage and you are wearing the fourth one. Any thing else?" I asked breathless and Amaan looked slightly shocked as he gazed at me. "Um... I didn't realise I was being so annoying. Anyways thanks for packing my things" he said slightly embarrassed, probably for being so restless. Something pinched my heart hearing him thank me for such a petty thing. He was being formal? With me? I just packed his things! It's my duty and right to help him and do stuff for him as his partner and he's being formal about that? Why is he being formal with me? Or is it me ? Did I drive him away from me? Am I not the one being formal with him, distancing myself from him while he's putting in effort?! Maybe... maybe that's the reason why he's reciprocating the same energy. "Um... sure. You are welcome." I replied, annoyance slightly but evident in my voice and I didn't bother to cover it up. I'm now more annoyed at me for letting this happen and even more annoyed at him for not trying more. Well that's crazy and selfish of me to think that way but ughhh!!
Why is marriage so full of crap?!!! Now I'm overreacting! What's up with me?! Am I going to get my period? These mood swings are killing me!! "-alright?" I zoned into whatever Amaan must have been saying. "Ugh?" I asked him, coming out of my thoughts. "Are you okay?" He asked again, concern clear in his voice. "Yeah.. I'll..just go down" I replied and turned to leave. " you seem pissed off. Kuch hua kya?" He asked as he took hold of my wrist, not letting me go. I stayed in my current position, my back facing him as he still held my wrist. Wo thoh main bhi nahi janthi ki kya hua. I heard him coming towards me, my hand still in his grip preventing me from leaving. He came in front of me but I still refuse to look at him, my head hanging down as I still tried to figure out the reason for my current mood. "Sameera?" He called me with so much of affection in his voice and for some reason I didn't respond, not a single move from my side. "Sameera? Kya hua? tell me.." he repeated. I don't know how, what and why, it's probably the concern care and passion in his voice that overwhelmed me....I just bursted into tears. I'm not being able to control the goddamn tears trickling down my cheeks as my heart welled up and ached. "Arree..." I could hear the shock and also a sense of understanding in his voice as he pulled me towards his chest. It made my heart ache even more as I wrapped both my arms around his torso and cried into his chest. I felt his arm around my waist as he caressed my head with the other.
I pulled back after crying my heart out, still not looking up at his face. "Do you wanna talk about it?" He gently asked, as his arms loosely hugged my back. "Ku..kuch ajee.. ajeeb sa lag rahi hai" i stammered as I started whimpering again followed by tears trickling. He slowly guided me towards the bed and made me sit on it while he kneeled down in front of me, beside the bed. " do you know what it is?" He asked cautiously, trying not to irritate me. I kept quite for sometime before answering. "I...I think I do". "Is there anything I can do about it?" Came his question. I slightly chuckled as I nodded a 'no' in response. You have done plenty Amaan. There's nothing more for you to do. There's nothing you can do that could change the way I feel right now. "Is there anything you can do?" He asked putting me into deep thought. How do I tell you what I feel and how I feel? There's nothing I can do to reverse it. It's just silly how just being away from someone can hurt you so much or how a person all of a sudden becomes so important to you that your entire world revolves around them. I think I just signed up for a lifetime of this torture. "But you should go and... and I decided to stay" I blurted out not sure if my answer would ever make sense to him. I slowly raised my face to meet his as there was no response from him. There was an look of absolute shock and realisation in his face as he kept his gaze intact on me. He quickly hugged me to which I responded soon. "I can cancel this trip" he stated not before placing a kiss on my forehead. "No! No no don't.. no... business is important.. you have responsibilities you have to be there.. I'll.. I'll be alright.. see?" I quickly replied as I wiped my tears which I now realised have been trickling down my eyes ...again! "Are you sure?" He asked again, not sure what to do and I nodded a 'yes', reassuring with a smile. He stood up and leaned down to place a kiss on my forehead and I know it was an unspoken promise that we'll be fine. "I'll be right back" he said as he left the room, not before turning back and looking at me one more time. I don't know when I grew so vulnerable.. when I stopped masking my emotions and when I gave myself the permission to feel such emotions but it happened. My inner self is not hesitating to show and address them. Without much thought I realised that I let my guard down because my heart has found the person it completely trusts. I trust Amaan with myself. I love him so much to trust him with myself.