The Purple Spider's Second Chance

The Past

20 years ago....

The boat drifted further and further away until it was nothing but a small dot on the horizon. My children left with it, their trembling fingers and scared shouts fading until it was just an echo in the wind.

A small tear made its way down my cheeks and a sad smile drifted across my face. It was the smile of a mother- a mother that knew she would never see her children again.

I clenched my fists, steeling my resolve as I made my way back to my home. The smell of burning flesh wafted through the air, its stench revolting. Bodies littered the yard as the broken forms of disciples lay unmoving in the grass.

I stopped for a second and closed my eyes. I tried to remember the smell of lotus flowers blooming everywhere, the laughter of disciples as they run around playing kites and swimming in the lake. I tried to remember the bright voices and high-pitched giggles, echoing in the air. I tried to remember the soft stares and gentle quirk of lips, the amusement glinting in those blue-grey eyes. I tried to remember his smile even though I know it was never mine, to begin with.

And then I heard an all too familiar voice, "Surrender! You are outnumbered!"

That person's voice sent chills down my spine, and I opened my eyes to turn around and see the person that was about to end my life and my husband's. Wen Zhuliu was standing in front of me, holding a sword to my neck, staring at me with cold, unfeeling eyes.

I looked around me. I could see the Lotus Pier that I knew was no more. I returned my gaze to him and his expressionless face. The rage that had been suppressed by the sadness and worry for my children bubbled up inside me, and I pushed him away, drawing my sword as I glared at him.

I fought with all I had but it was no use.

I was tired and my core was almost spent. My knees were getting weak and my eyes getting blurry. The blood gushed out my arm and back. I knew I wouldn't last much longer. I could see my disciples trying to get to me, but to no avail.

A bitter smile blossomed across my face, and I let out a resigned sigh. There was no point.

Just as I was about to close my eyes and succumb to my fate- a voice rang through the air. It was a voice that I knew so well.

"My lady!" the voice called, and there he was- standing beside me with his sword drawn.

And for a split second, I was happy. Because at least I know he cared about me enough to come here and tried to protect me.

But then it dawned on me, we were outnumbered and our disciples were dwindling by the second. This was a battle that could not be won. If he died here with me, then who would look after A-Cheng and A-Li? Who would care about that menace Wei Wuxian?

"What are you doing here?" I screamed as I forced my body to move, slashing every Wen disciple that dared to come near my way.

This is my home! I can't leave my disciples behind! If I'm going to die then it might as well be fighting for something I love," he said, sword flashing as he fought off the Wens.

And then I realized that he came here to protect his home, not our home. He came for his disciples, not our disciples. He came here to protect many things he cares about but not me. I wanted to be angry with him, I wanted to scream at him and asked why he never loved or cared for me? I wanted to ask him even if he didn't care for me, how could he let A-Cheng and A-Li alone in the world?

But I couldn't. I felt numb all over and a steel blade pierced through my stomach. I looked up and I could see Wen Zhuliu's expressionless face. His hand holding onto a bloody sword.

Then it dawned on me- that the blood was mine. I fell to my knees and I thought I heard my husband screaming my name. But that was impossible because I know he does not care for me.

Then I saw Wen Zhuliu stabbing him and I could hear a scream from somewhere- only to realize that it came from me.

I closed my eyes for the last time, promising that next time, I will not wait for a man's affection. Next time, I wont waste my time pining for something I can never have. Next time... I will live for me- and me alone.

Jiang Fengmian... Thank you for our life together. It might not have been perfect, but we are still family. And I'd like to think that given all the years we spent together- you at least have some affection for me. Right? Well, it doesn't matter now. Let's not meet again in our next life.

A-Cheng, A-Li, I'm sorry and I know you will be fine. Wei Wuxian, you better keep your promise in protecting them!

Letting out a shuddering breath, I closed my eyes, finally sinking into oblivion.

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