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❝ Love isn't supposed to hurt this badly. ❞
THESOFTRAPPINGon the door pulled your attention away. You were about to speak up when the it slowly opened, dick stepping into your room without a single word.
He shut the door behind him, coming to stand by the bathroom a small distance away from your bed. His anger was more than visible across his features and body language. He was staring at the ground, his hands balled up into fists at his sides as his chest rose and fell in a timely manner.
Words couldn't describe how much it hurt you to see him like that, but you couldn't let him get away with it this time. You had been worrying about him for three days. Three days in which you didn't even know where he was and if he was okay. He didn't even bother to send you a text to let you know that he wasn't in trouble. You knew dick like the back of your hand, and you knew that when he felt overwhelmed he was used to step away from reality for a while. And the way he did that was by shutting everyone out. You were okay with it when you were friends kept reassuring you that no matter what happened he would be okay. They knew him better than you did, so at first you believed them. But when you got together, seeing him keep everything to himself started becoming unbearable for you too.
A few moments passed before he finally looked up, his gaze falling on you, gently staring at him with a soft expression. You stretched out your arm, letting it fall onto the bed, palm up. The look on your face nearly brought him to tears.
"You're not gonna say anything?" dick opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
"Then I'll start" You said, your eyes never leaving his. "Where the hell have you been?"
"Y/N" He started talking but you cut him off immediately, yelling, "I was worried sick, you asshole! You can't just disappear for three days and come here acting like nothing happened!"
"W-Will you let me explain?" He stuttered, looking down at his feet. "I have been crying for two days dick. You could've reached out at least once, for fuck's sake!"
When he noticed you starting to shake, he sighed. "Shit" He cursed under his breath. "I...I am sorry, baby, I-"
You furrowed your brows. "Don't. Don't call me that"
That made Dick tear up. He knew what he did was wrong, but he still thought that he did that for you. He didn't want you to have to deal with him when he wasn't feeling like himself at all. "I am here now, okay? I won't let it happen again"
"That's bullshit and you know it!" You were shouting now, and you didn't care if anyone could hear you. You let out a deep breath, "We can't keep doing this"
Your voice was breaking, and Dicks's eyes widened. Did he really hurt you that much?
"W-What?" He asked. "You can't always keep secrets from me Dick. It's hurting me" You admitted, rubbing your aching temples. "I know I shouldn't push you, but this doesn't even feel like a relationship anymore" You continued.
"Baby, don't say that..." He trailed off, his eyes glossing over. "I am trying to protect you"
"I don't need protection Dick! I want my boyfriend to tell me what the hell is going on in his life, is that too much to ask?" He was mad. Not at you, at himself. Every time he had to made a choice, he made the wrong one.
"I have been dealing with a lot of shit lately, a-and it was better for me to stay away from you guys for a while. I am good now, okay? I am fine. Drop it." He was shaking and you could tell he didn't mean that to sound as harsh as it did, but either way, you felt drained and you needed to get your anger out, too. "Drop it? You've lost your fucking mind"
"Love isn't supposed to hurt this badly," You said what you were thinking out loud.
Dick shook his head slowly, biting his bottom lip.
"How do you that?" You asked with a small voice.
"Do what?" His eyes were now on you, and he analyzed your face. Your bloodshot eyes made the lump in his throat grow even bigger.
"Pretend that you're okay all the time. How do you do that?"
"I don't want people to worry, 's all" He muttered, running a hand through his hair. "I love you, Y/N. Everything I do, I do it for you, can't you see that?"
"Got a funny way of showing it." You whispered.
"I am really sorry, okay? I don't know-fuck," His breathing was shallow, and he tried to calm down, but he couldn't.
"Then tell me what happened, or I'll walk out that door," You said, throwing your hands in the air. "I can't," He said. "Not right now."
That made you lose all the patience you had left. "You're kidding,"
"If I'll tell you you'll look at me different and I...I can't stand to see you look at me like that"
"I won't look at you different dick, I love you! You're not making any sense. I care about you, how do you expect me to look at you?" Your head and your heart were fighting as you looked at the broken boy in front of you. You wished there was a way to help him, to let him know that you were there for him and that weren't with him because you wanted someone to fix.
"And you don't care about me enough to send me a text apparently" You are reminded of what happened.
You stood up and walked to the door. It was for the best, or was it?
When Dick tasted his salty tears, he realized that he was crying. You weren't looking at him, because you knew that it would give you at least a hundred reasons to stay. "I-If you walk out that door...I'll know that you never loved me,"
He didn't mean one word of what he said, but he had to find a way to make you stay. He had to.
You turned around quickly, and whispered with a broken voice. "How can you say that?"
You are both looking at each other, and you feel guilty for making each other feel that way. He had to put his pride aside because he had to deal with the possibility of losing you right now, and he couldn't let that happen. You watch him fall apart in front of you, and your heart wins over your head.
You walk over to him and he lets out a shaky breath of relief as you wrap your arms around his neck.
"I need you..." His plea was muffled against your skin, his lips brushing up your neck as his free hand was tight around your waist. "I am sorry"
"I'm here," was all you managed to get out before your voice threatened to give way. You heard him sniffle. One of your hands was tangled up in his curls, gently scratching his scalp while the other stroked his back as he moved down to your collarbone. "No, no, hey" You pull away to look at his tear stained face. "I'm not going anywhere, D. I am right here"
You tried to calm him down. "I am so fucking sorry, I don't deserve another chance but please-"
You cut him off by pressing your lips against his softly, and you can feel him relax as he kisses back. That was when he knew that he could let you in, that you were always going to be there for him because no matter what he did, you would always be by his side.
