Before Rosa

[BR 4]

R A F F Y
Before Rosa 4

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Break up.

Kailan ba ako lulubayan ng mga kuwentong hiwalayan? More than one week palang nang mag-break kami ni Dino, heto si Sia, sinasabing nagbreak sila ni Monic.

It took me back to my own breakup. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at napahawak ako sa'king bibig. "Sia... I'm sorry." I hugged her. I feel so bad, parang ako ang hiniwalayan.

It's like Dino left me all over again.

"Ano bang nangyari? Did I give you the wrong advice?"

Umiling siya at humiwalay saakin. Pilit niyang kinocontrol ang kaniyang mga hikbi. Sia kasi is the type of person who doesn't cry, unless it's really bad. And judging from the tears rolling down her face, I can see that she's really hurt.

She also looks shaken, na hindi ko maintindihan. Maybe they fought?

"If you don't want to talk about it right now, it's okay. Tara, pahinga ka na muna--" Tatayo na sana ako nang pigilan niya. Her grip on my hand is loose, but I stopped and looked back anyway.

Umiwas siya ng tingin. "Also... Raffy."

"Hmm?" Agad akong umupo ulit. I even leaned closer to show her that I care.

She heave a sigh. Kahit ako, nahirapan na panuorin siya. My own heart is breaking for her.

I don't do this for my clients. I'm not even supposed to be this close to them. But, this is Sia. She's not a client; she's my friend. Kung ano man ang diramdam niya, dadamayan ko siya. Sa tagal na naming magkaibigan, ngayon ko pa ba siya iiwan? She didn't leave me in my darkest times, I won't leave her in hers.

Tinulak niya ako ng mahina. "Ang lapit mo, baks. Umayos ka."

I cleared my throat and leaned back. "Sorry," sabi ko.

She sighed, as if getting ready to drop a bomb. "Raffy, don't faint," she warned.

Napakunot ako. "Bakit naman ako mahihimatay, mamsh? If you and Monic broke up because of what you felt, labas naman ata ak--"

"I'm pregnant, Raf."

"What?"

Natanga ako. For a while, I was numb and deaf. In psychology, we have a 90-second rule. According to a bestselling neuroanatomist named Jill Bolte Taylor, "when a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90 second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop."

Bumilang ako ng 90 seconds. Pero sa 90 seconds na 'yun, lalong lumakas ang tibok ng puso ko. Mukhang pinili ng katawan kong kabahan sa sinabi ni Sia. "See, that's not a good joke," sabi ko sakaniya.

Umiwas lang siya ng tingin. "Bakit naman ako magjojoke ng ganyan, bakla. Alam naman nating may nangyari saatin kamakailan lang."

"P-pero paano...?"

Tumingin siya saakin. Puno ng luha ang kaniyang mga mata, pero may halong inis ang kaniyang tingin. "Raffy, when mommy and daddy have sex, the sperm from daddy's genitals meet mommy's egg in the fallopian tube. A successful little sperm enters the egg and they start to develop--"

"Sia naman eh," napapahilamos kong sabi. Napahawak ako sa ulo. Sumasakit ito. "I mean, paano mo nasabi? How did you know that you're-- you know..."

She sighed. "Napansin ni Monic. Four days na akong nahihilo at nasusuka tuwing umaga. I was having slight cramps and spotting. Apparently, they're early symptoms of pregnancy."