AN/ Thank you for reading X3 I can never go a chapter without saying this.
San
While sitting in the living room everyone is silent, thinking about what the first question will be. I am terrified of what the first question could be, but I am here now, and I can't turn back.
"So, you are a demon? What you said about being half witch, was that even true?" Yeosang asks first.
"I am half demon, half witch. My mother is a witch, she is living in the States with my sister right now. My father is the demon, and only he knows where he is at any given time." I say looking over to him. I am sad, but it feels nice to finally say it out loud to someone.
"Okay, well why did you hide it from us? You know we are family, right?" HongJoong asks, SeongHwa wrapping his arms around him.
"In short, I was scared. I've never been good about telling people. Most tend to hate me just for being around a demon, let alone being one. The first time I told anyone, they ran away and hid from me. I didn't want to lose you guys." I say looking down at my hands. I can feel the sting of tears wanting to be let out.
"I have seen what happens when he tells people. It usually isn't pleasant, they run, attack, or just ignore him after. With everything that has happened in his life, I don't want him hurting. He seems happy with you kids, which is nice to see, so I am sorry to have alarmed you. I didn't mean to scare anyone, I was just trying to help San with his sleeping troubles, but it seems he found a way to help." my aunt says, looking at my friends, ending on Wooyoung.
"Who is Rose?" I hear Wooyoung ask in a small voice. Everyone looks at him and I sigh, calling my familiars to me.
"Rose, Lily, and Salem, are my familiars." I say as they all take physical form around me, in the order I say their names.
"Wait... you have three familiars?" Jungho asks, tilting his head.
"I have Rose and Lily, because my father sent them for me. Salem is my true familiar. He helps me study and practice my magic." I tell them, looking at Salem.
"One familiar, Salem, is from his being a witch. The other two, Rose and Lily, were bound to him by his father. They are familiars to him just as Salem is, just by different magic." she explains. I nod in agreement and scan everyone's faces to see their reactions.
To my surprise nobody seems mad, just confused or hurt. I can understand both sentiments; if I were to have all of this told to me I would probably feel the same way. I look at Wooyoung and see that he isn't looking at me.
"Why? Why didn't you tell me?" Wooyoung asks meekly. The way he says that tears at my heart. Lily leans on me, sensing my feelings, so that I may pet her, but I refuse, though I don't push her away either,
"I deserve this, I made him feel this way." I tell her. She keeps leaning on me, trying to give some form of comfort. I calmly stand up and, while looking at them, I bow in apology.
"I am sorry. I will leave if you want me to." I say as I'm bowing, looking at the floor. I stay in that position until someone says something.
"Why would we want you to leave?" SeongHwa asks, now standing up with HongJoong. I look at them, confused.
"I... You, don't hate me?" I ask, my voice cracking slightly.
"Why would we hate you? You are still you, San. We just didn't know everything." HongJoong says, coming over to me. I'm still not sure what to do. Before I can say anything, HongJoong pulls me into a hug, shortly followed by SeongHwa.
I am shocked by the touch. HongJoong isn't known for this. I can feel the others slowly joining this group hug and I look to my aunt. She is smiling at me and bows to us.
"I will take my leave, you boys are in need of sleep. If you want to see me again, call me." she says. Everyone pulls away from the hug and bows in response.
:@:
Wooyoung
"Keep an eye on him for me?" I hear her voice in my head. I look at her confused. "Keep my nephew safe, he needs you." is all she says before leaving in her cloud of maroon mist. I don't know what she means, but I look over at San to see him crying softly. He seems relieved, but when he looks at me he stops, and gives me a smile.
I watch as the others all go to their rooms, but San stays in the living room. I sit quietly next to him and we are engulfed in silence for a while, but nothing awkward but warm in nature.
"Are you really okay with me being a demon?" he asks with a shaky voice, breaking the silence. I'm not happy that he didn't tell me, but I understand that trying to tell people what you are is hard, especially when people think you are crazy, or want them dead.
"I am, but are you okay with telling us? You didn't seem too happy that you were." I ask, leaning forward on the couch.
"I didn't want to tell you guys, any time I've told someone.... Well, let's just say it doesn't end well. Last time was the reason I came to Seoul." he tells me, letting me know things that he has never told me before. He curls in on himself and I can hear him softly crying.
"San, you're safe here. We are a family, we would never turn our backs on you." I say moving closer to him, touching his back.
"Right, family." I hear from him, he stands up and walks to his room, hesitating to open the door. I head over to him and he looks over to me.
"Do you still want a cuddle buddy?" I ask, hoping he will say yes. He nods slowly, and opens the door so as to not wake Yunho, who is asleep already.
We silently get into his bed, San wrapping his arms around me, but not nearly as tight as before. Did I do something wrong? He sounded like he didn't like being called family. Is the last thing I think before seeing him asleep.
:@:
San
Family? What an annoying concept. I hate that Woo thinks we are family. I want him to be mine, but he just wants us to be family. God I'm stupid. I think while he touches my back.
"Yeah, family." I say, a bit more venom in the word than I mean. I get up, going to my room, but stop before I open the door. I don't want the nightmares, my aunt just left after I told her I was fine. Why do I always do this? Woo snaps me out of my train of thought.
"Do you still want a cuddle buddy?" he asks, concern in his voice. Without a second thought I nod, opening the door slowly so I don't wake Yunho. He's a light sleeper, so I'm trying to stay quiet.
We gently lay down in bed, and I wrap my arms around Wooyoung, but I loosen my grip on him remembering we are family and nothing more. I silently berate myself as I see him fall asleep, wishing that I could just let my feelings go.
If he hates me, will it be better? I would shatter, but at least it wouldn't hurt as much as I do right now, I think to myself. After realizing he is passed out I kiss the top of his head. I wish I could do this while I'm awake.
That night I fall asleep, holding the one I care for most. I have no nightmares that night, allowing me to get the first real sleep in days.
YOU ARE READING
Accepting: Hidden Self
FanfictionA story of San trying coming to terms with who he is and who his family is, while trying to realize that he can be his true self around his new family, just as he was with his real family. There will be magic, suffering, love, and some tears along t...
