𝙖𝙣𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣 𝙨𝙠𝙮𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨

• overthinking •

Being secretly married to Anakin Skywalker was bittersweet.

While you loved the thrill of hiding your relationship from the galaxy, it was difficult to deal with not being able to claim him as yours. This was especially true when you'd visit other planets together and beautiful women from all over would see him for what he was- an incredibly gorgeous man.

This led to them flirting, and Anakin was too friendly to shut them down. It would also be suspicious for him to avoid speaking to all the women who ever found him attractive, and so you understood that his hands were tied. You would even often joke about his "other girlfriends", and he'd laugh along while promising you that you were his only one.

It got hard at times, though. Especially when you were already feeling down about yourself.

You would sometimes find yourself doubting your worthiness, leaving you to wonder why Anakin had ever married you. He hated when you got insecure, but you couldn't help it at times.

You were already having a bad week when the Jedi were invited to a party on Naboo. Anakin and you were fighting a lot more than usual, mainly because you were being so snappy, but nonetheless you were in a terrible mood when you arrived.

Then you had to go through the delight of watching your husband flirt with some of the most attractive women you had ever seen. Sure, you knew he was a flirt and a woman's man when you married him, but you had hoped that that side of him was reserved for you.

It's just work, you told yourself. He's not doing this because he wants to.

What made it worse was how he would ignore you. Of course, he had to keep your relationship to protect his job, but he could have at least treated you like a friend. He spent all night drinking and talking to other women, while you were left to follow Yoda around all night.

You hated feeling like this. You were a strong woman, and confident in yourself, so how could this one party be making you feel so small?

Then came the kicker.

Padme fucking Amidala.

Anakin had told you that they had history together before the war against Palpatine, but he assured you that it was over between them. You believed him, of course, but you couldn't help but feel dread as you saw her talking to him. While Yoda spoke to some senator about something uninteresting, you kept your eyes on Padme as she fell into deep conversation with your husband.

What could they possibly have to talk about?

They broke up years ago.

Does she still love him?

Does he still love her?

Hundreds of crippling thoughts ran through your mind as you watched them gleefully interact, laughing and smiling at one other another. You trusted Anakin with your life, but Padme... not so much.

You left Yoda and walked to a side of the hall where you'd have a better view of them. Pretending to make yourself a plate of food, your eyes zeroed in on them where they stood near the water foundation in the middle of the room. Padme suddenly placed her hand on Anakin's bicep, and you had to will yourself not to throw her across the room. Anakin was looking down at her, his eyes seemingly unable to see anything else.

You were sad.

Why was he staring at her like that?

Was he thinking about how beautiful she looked tonight, wearing a blood red dress with her hair down?