Dear 13 year old child, don't read this. Don't read it, like I really appreciate you reading this shit man, but I'm writing porn and you don't need the stress of sex within your life. Trust me.
"True, but the death of Harembe would have occurred regardless of the action behind it. Would we have cared if Harembe had died in his sleep?"
~Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen. This was moments before he agreed to do ecstasy with five other couples; and while we as the authors do not condone the event listed as 'penis hour' within Russian history, we feel the need to let everyone know that Rasputin was more than Russia's greatest love machine.
Video timestamp 0:50 ;)
Dan's POV:
The last day of Arins hospital stay was here, for a week we had been spending as much time as plausible together. But in my spare time, I had been writing non-stop. Writing stuff of actual importance? Hell no! I was writing more and more on the thing that had brought Arin and I together, our story of Link and The king of Hyrule. And, updating our fans on our situation. I, of course, couldn't give them the whole truth but settled with a half-truth. To our fans, Arin is in the hospital for 'an emergency' and I've promised to touch on it more at a later point. I made a point to talk about this with Arin, and we've decided to talk about it within our next Grump session.
As I approach his hospital room, I hear Arin scream.
"I AM HERE FOR THE PROSTATE EXAM!! STOP SCREAMING!!!!! UNCLENCH YOUR BUTT HOLE!!!!!! I CAN'T WORK IF YOUR BUTT HOLE IS CLOSED!!!!!
I fling the door open to find Minerva in an absolute power stance and Arin leaned over the hospital bed with his pants halfway down. I fucking loose it.
"Heeyyyyyy Dan! I was definitely not about to do an unlicensed and probably unwarranted prostate exam to your lovely boyfriend." She chuckles awkwardly, and does finger guns. What a bi icon, god I would be so attracted to her if she wasn't trying to put her fingers in my boyfriends ass for a prostate exam.
"Dany!!!!!" Arin pulls up his pants and quickly runs behind me, using me a a shield from Minerva. I can feel him grip my shirt as Minerva turns towards us. It takes me a second to regain my composure, my mind keeps replaying the whole 'unclench your butt hole' thing.
"Okay, okay. Minerva, please don't yell at my boyfriend- especially about unclenching his ass. He doesn't like when attractive people yell at him, it makes him nervous." I can feel Arin clench my shirt tighter, he knows I'm right.
Minerva does that thing where she tries to argue but just ends up stuttering and looking really mad.
"Okay, listen; you don't tell my boss about this and I dish you all the tea I know." Ooooooh, tea, bro that is so fuckin tempting. I glance towards Arin, and I feel him look at me too.
"Alright, just to get you on my side. Jeffery Epstine doesn't kill himself."
"Who the fuck is Jeffery Epstine?" Arin asks, peaking his head out from my back.
"A dude who doesn't kill himself, trust me it's gonna be super relevant in like," she pulls back her sleeve to look at her watch, "six years." It takes a second for my mind to catch up.
"A dude who doesn't kill himself in... 2019? I doubt that's gonna be relevant, but ok." I hold out my hand.
"I don't narc on you, you don't yell at my boyfriend. Deal?" She gives me a look, but slowly takes my hand and shakes it.
"...Deal." She squints at me, she doesn't trust me. I squint back and increase my grip, we've come to a mutual understanding.
~~~
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DanFiction^2
RomanceCOMPLETE Dan Avidan and Arin Hansen spend their free weekly saturdays together doing one thing. Writing fanfiction about Link and Zelda... But alas they seem to find themselves relating to the characters far too much. What happens when they start to...
