Lover of mine ~ 5sos

Chapter 7

~ Calum's POV ~
(This whole chapter is Calum's POV)

I walk back and forth across my room. Why does she have to be so damn gorgeous? I know I need to tell her how I feel but I can't. I can't complicate things like that. The band is my number one priority and I don't want to screw that up for her or me.
I flop down on my bed, letting out a frustrated sigh. We've became so close over these last few months, at this stage she probably knows more about me than the rest of the boys- she's just so easy to talk to, it's like I've known her for years.
She makes me so happy, and she's the best roomie, cooks and cleans, likes football and can take a joke; bonus, she has an amazing body, I couldn't ask for a better room mate or friend...
Friend... is that really all I see her as though? A friend? Why does this have to be so complicated. Us boys made a deal before letting her join, no funny business, she's a band mate and a friend, nothing more and the boys trusted me the most having her as a roommate because I wouldn't make a move on her...
They made the wrong choice trusting me, but you can't blame me, she's amazing.
I have no idea what to do, and it's not like I can talk to any one about this.
Frustrated, I grab a smoke, hopefully this will make me feel better.

I head out onto the balcony, Y/N must be in her room. Lighting my cigarette, I take a long drag, a sigh of relief comes over me with the exhale. As much as I hate to say it, this is exactly what I needed.
The cool evening breeze stops and a figure appears beside me, it's Y/N.
She lights her smoke and exhales calmly, facing me, she asks "So Calum, do you want to talk about what happened earlier?"
I know I need to talk about this but I can't find the words, I shake my head and gaze over the city night, such a beautiful evening.
It's silent while we finish our smokes, and you'd think it would be awkward but it's not, if anything, it's made me feel better, just having her presence next to me.
She places a hand on my shoulder, "Calum I'm not wanting a response from you, you don't have to say anything but I'm not going to be able to sleep until I get this off my chest. I'm not going to lie, I have feelings for you but I'm not going to pressure you into anything or do anything about them. I'm so thankful for everything this band has done for me and I don't want to ruin that, or our friendship. If you want more, that's fine, if you don't, that's also fine, but I'm also not going to put myself in a position where my feelings will get hurt- you know where to find me if you want to talk, good night".
She begins to walk away, without thinking, I grab her arm, "wait, don't go, stay on with me please? I'm just not sure what to say right now or how to say it".
She sends a reassuring smile and moves back beside me, she looks so perfect tonight. The moonlight shines upon her face, hair lightly blowing in the wind, her smile could light up the night. I place my arm around her, "I think we should take our time, I just hope you'll stay while I figure this out".