Lover of mine ~ 5sos

Chapter 44

As we arrive back- I head out to the balcony for some fresh air. I have this unsettling feeling in my stomach.. Guilt? Alcohol? Pregnant? I laugh to myself at the thought of being pregnant. Firstly, impossible, secondly, I think that would be the tipping point for the fans.

Ashton joins me out on the balcony, "Are you sure you're feeling alright? You've seemed off all night", he shuffles nervously, "I know I keep asking, I don't mean to be annoying".
I chuckle, grabbing Ashtons hand, "It's fine, I understand. I'm sorry for going off at you earlier. I really do appreciate how much you care".
Ashton raises an eyebrow, "So, you're okay?".
I pull Ashton in, kissing him on the cheek, "I'd tell you if I wasn't".

We stand silently, looking out over the city, enjoying the cool breeze.
Ashton moves in close, wrapping both arms around me.
I rest my head against his chest.
I really do admire and appreciate this wonderful man, he makes me feel so safe and loved.

Ashton stutters nervously, "I.. I thought it was really cute how you said you wanted to spend time with me".
Why's Ashton gone all shy on me?
I pull away, looking up at him, smiling, "Don't be silly, you know I love spending time with you".
Ashton blushes, smile wide across his face, "I know it's early days but you honestly make me so happy. I've never felt this way about anyone before and I hope you feel the same, Y/N", he looks away nervously, lost for words, "I.. I think I.. I.."
I cut him off, "I love you too, Ashton".

Ashton moves his hand to the back of my neck, pulling me in gently, placing his lips on mine.
Our lips moved in time, a perfect match, meaningful and full of love.
His hands traced over my body, sending shivers down my spine, only fuelling the fire.
The kiss became deeper, more passionate, our bodies craved each other.

Our bodies pressed up against each other, I could feel the urge, he wanted more, I wanted more.

We part from the kiss, Ashton taking my hand, I knew where this was going and as the realisation kicks in, guilt rushes over me. I can't do this, I need to tell him.

I pull my hand away from his, a worried look on Ashtons face, "Did I do something wrong? I mean, we don't have to... you know... I'm sorry, I ruined the moment".
I pull Ashton into a reassuring hug, before pulling away, "No, Ashton, you're perfect. You haven't done anything wrong, but I need to tell you something. The guilts killing me".
Ashtons face goes blank, emotionless, I can't tell what he's thinking.
He turns away, not facing me, "Did you cheat on me? How could you tell me you loved me?".
I hold back the tears, I hope I haven't screwed this up, "No, I would never, and I do love you but you deserve to know this".
Ashton turns back to face me, relieved but nervous, "What's going on..."

I walk inside, taking a seat on the couch, gesturing to Ashton to take a seat as well.
I tell him everything.
About Calum, what Calum's said and how I'm feeling.
It wasn't easy, I felt terrible and I still do, but I needed to make a choice, and I know in my heart I've made the right decision.

Thanks for reading!
Also, don't worry if you're an Ashton girl, or a Calum girl.
I will be writing the next 2 chapters as different endings.
I couldn't make a decision myself, so I'm going to give you both options.
An ending with Calum...
or An ending with Ashton...
or if you're like me and can't decide, you'll be able to read both.
Thanks again for all the support. I can't believe we're already here!
I will be releasing both chapters at the same time- so it may take a little longer than usual for an update but it'll be worth it! x