Freedom ✔️ Harry Styles

Chapter Eighty Seven

*March 11th*
*Harry POV*

"Harry.... you don't have to, I understand if you don't." She answered quickly, a concerned look washing over her face.

My racing heart slowed a little as I stared at the woman I love, the fact that she loves and cares about me so much making this easier.

"I know I don't have to, but I want to." I told her honestly, grabbing her hands in mine.

She looked unsure as she stared at me, most likely making sure that I was telling the truth. I gave her a small smile, hoping to lower her doubts and anxiety. At least one of us needs to be calm and I know it's not going to be me. She sighed and hesitantly nodded, causing me to relax a little.

"Ok." She spoke softly. "Only if your sure."

I nodded before leaning in a leaving a soft kiss on her lips.

"I'm sure. But you have to promise to hear me out and listen before you judge. I want you to try to be as open as possible and if you do end up seeing me differently than at least I knew that you heard me out." I told her shakily.

Her eyebrows furrowed over her eyes, looking extremely concerned again.

"Harry your scaring me." She told me, and I shook my head quickly.

"Don't be scared. I'm just warning you that what I'm about to tell you is a lot." I said, rubbing my thumb over her hand.

"Alright. Start when your ready." She told me, kissing my lips shortly.

I let go of her hands as I stood up, walking over to the fireplace. I could feel her eyes on me as I stared at the orange flames, trying to piece my thoughts together so I could start.

"I don't really have a family." I started, glancing over at her to see her giving me a questioning glance. "I mean of course I have a mom and dad, but I never met my mother."

"What do you mean you never met her?" Arabelle asked softly and I could tell she didn't want to upset me but she was confused.

"I was born into the gang. My father was one of the men, one of the higher members actually. That's how the gang gets their men, from former gang members sons. Once the mothers give birth the children are ripped away from their moms, never able to see them again. The children are sent to a warehouse, where we're raised and trained."

"Trained?" Arabelle interrupted, once again a confused look settled over her features.

"Trained to be in the gang. There's women there who nurture the little ones until their old enough to start, at around 4 or 5 depending on how strong they are. From there the kids are forced to exercise at least 4 hours a day, most times more. They teach us how to use weapons, guns, knifes, anything you can use in a fight. From there they're trained how to kill basically, and the weak don't survive, I don't exactly know what happen to them but I do know that they're never seen again."

A horrified gasp left Arabelles lips and I quickly glanced at her to see tears in her eyes. My heart sank as a tear slid down her cheek but I quickly turned away, knowing that if I watched her cry I'd get emotional myself.

"That's awful." She muttered sadly, her voice cracking from her tears.

"Your not allowed to speak unless your told to, not even to the fellow kids there. We had strict rules that we had to follow. No eating unless your instructed, all kids were expected to be in bed by ten no later, everyone has to be awake by five, showers are only permitted if you earned it, no crying, no fooling around, and most importantly: no trying to escape. The only thing they gave us was two outfits each, a tooth brush, and a lousy mattress on the floor to sleep on. If you complained, or broke any of the rules, you get punished."

"What were the punishments?" She asked hesitantly, fear in her eyes.

I shook my head as glimpses of the multiple times I've seen kids limp out of the punishment room and the multiple times I've been there myself.

"You don't want to know babe." I told her softly, walking over to the couch.

Tears were still falling from her eyes as I sat down next to her, pulling her shaking body into mine.

She sobbed into my shoulder as my heart ached, hoping that she didn't feel differently about me. I took a deep breath,trying to calm myself down and rid the horrible memories from my brain.

"No kid should have to go through that." Arabelle cried into my shirt. "To be ripped away from their mother and to never feel a mother's love. To never feel any love. They treat them like machines when they're just kids. Kids are meant to play around and have fun, not to have a gun forced in their hands and be taught how to kill."

My heart ached as I pulled her into my lap, not caring if she was upset with me or not. I shouldn't have told her, I knew she would've reacted this way. She's way to big hearted and innocent to hear stuff like that.

"I'm so sorry." She sobbed into my neck, making me whip my head towards her in confusion.

"What are you sorry for baby?" I asked her, rubbing a hand up and down her back.

She pulled her head back and my heart sank at the sight of her red puffy eyes. Her cheeks were red with tears flowing down them, her bottom lip puffy from her biting it.

"That you had to go through that!" She sobbed.

I stared at her in pure shock, not expecting her to react this way.

"Y-your not mad at me?" I asked her timidly.

A bewildered look washed over her face as she shook her head frantically, cupping my cheeks in her hands.

"Why would I be mad at you for that?" She breathed looking as shocked as I felt.

"I don't know I just thought you would look at me differently." I told her honestly.

"Well your right I do." My heart sank as those words came out of her mouth.

I felt tears coming to my eyes as I looked down at my lap, hating that I was so sensitive about this. This is exactly why I didn't want to tell her, I knew that she would leave me. That she would never look at me the same way.

I felt fingers gently lift my chin up and I looked at her hesitantly, my eyebrows furrowing at the small smile on her face.

"I do see you differently now, but not in the way your thinking. I think your stronger than I did before. You have to be strong to go through that and survive, especially if you were a child."

A smile made its way onto my face as I pulled her closer to me, wrapping my arms around her as I buried my head into her neck. Her hand rubbed my back as the other one reached up to run through my hair.

"I love you Harry, and nothing will ever change that." She whispered.
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