Into the Fire (gxg)

Chapter 24

I fucked up.

I ran my fingers through my hair and gripped onto it as I fell to my knees. I was so angry with myself. How could I let this happen? I couldn't move. I hung my head low, I'm no better than him.

I fell into her as I held onto her legs resting my head against her stomach.

"Liv...I'm so sorry. I-I fucked up. I just wanted you so badly. The things you do to me. I don't know how to make love, I just know how to fu-..." oh god, I'm making this worse.

She just stood there. I understood if she wouldn't want to talk to me. I mean I just slammed her against the fucking wall. I didn't mean to.

I stood up, not being able to look into her eyes. I had done that, I had hurt her. I went to grab a pillow and a blanket and sat onto the couch.

I couldn't sleep. I couldn't bring myself to even lie down. I just sat on the edge of the couch with my head in my hands.

I went to grab a beer to drown my thoughts. But it wasn't enough, I had lost her already. I couldn't come back from this. Anything but this. I went to grab a few more beers and left a note for Olivia that I would be back in half an hour. I knew one thing that would at least take away the thoughts.

Adrenaline.

~~~~~

Olivia's POV

I sat on the bed feeling bad about how I reacted, I know it was just a heated moment between us, but fucking Adam had to just traumatise me and I know she would never hurt me. Maybe she was a little rough and I'm not gonna lie, I liked it but I couldn't help those memories of Adam forcing me to have sex with him.

I never thought about it before but all of the times he had slammed me against the wall, he liked to get off from the physical pain he inflicted on me. He was a sadistic man and I never thought about it until that night with Sky in the room.

But I knew Natalie wasn't like that. She is too caring and would never intentionally hurt me. But the pain from the flashbacks just made me freeze. I wanted to stop her from sleeping on the couch but I just couldn't move.

I got into some pyjama shorts and one of Natalie's tops which was a little bit bigger on me. I couldn't help but smile to her smell that lingered on it. I should go and check on her.

All of a sudden I heard the front door go. I quickly stepped out of the bedroom only to find a note saying she'd be back in half an hour. I looked around and noticed her car keys were missing.

She's not leaving me here is she? She's not going to that bitch from reception right? Fuck.

I ran my fingers through my hair, unsure what to do. I felt betrayed as my thoughts clouded my mind, until I noticed all of the empty beer bottles beside the couch.

My eyes widened in horror at the thought of her driving right now. I quickly ran out of the lodge heading to where she had parked the car, luckily all I saw was the headlights and that was enough for me to sprint before she would drive off.

I stood in front of the car making sure that she wouldn't move. I got closer to the car pulling up to the passenger door trying to open it.

"Natalie open the fucking door, you're not driving like this" I yelled.

I heard a click and I opened the door without hesitation. I looked at Natalie and she had her head hung low between her hands on the steering wheel.

"Nat..." she shook her head not allowing me speak. I lifted her chin so I could look at her and all I saw was was her bloodshot eyes from crying. The sight broke my heart. She lifted another bottle and brought it to her lips.

I quickly took the bottle away from her as she groaned.

"No more Nat. You've had enough." I said wiping the tears from her eyes. "Why are you crying?" I asked.

"Because I've lost you."

I chuckled, "Nat you haven't lost me what are you talking about?"

"I promised you that no one will ever hurt you again and here I am bringing back memories of him! I'm no better than him."

"No. It's not you Nat.

"Nat, you are a million times better than him, don't say that. I know you didn't mean to do it, you didn't hurt me Nat, I've just got a fucked up past that likes to keep haunting me. But trust me, you haven't lost me, I wanted to but..." I didn't really know how to finish that sentence off so I just looked at her.

I didn't know what to do, she just sat there. I got out the car and went over to her side and opened the door.

"Cmon, lets go back inside." I said.

She stumbled out of the car as she leaned into me. We walked back into the lodge and she couldn't stop saying sorry. I managed to get her into bed and pulled the covers over her before doing the same for myself.

"Goodnight Nat" I said before kissing her on the forehead.