The Alpha's Heart

chapter 51

Eliana POV

Tonight. I'll give myself until tonight. Just a few more hours to be with him.

Noah sleeps soundlessly next to me, his head cuddled into my chest. I chuckle, letting my fingers glide through his hair gently. His smooth strands tickle my palm, easing the sting inside.

He loves to lay his cheek against my breast, doesn't he? I love that about him too.

He snuggles closer into my embrace, his hair brushing on my collarbone. Water fills my eyes and I hold them back.

How am I going to walk away from him? How can I stop his pain without leaving? How do I ease all of their pain?

Intention is never on my side. Being misunderstood is my fault. 18 years in a basement, almost alone will do that to you. My wolf whimpers inside me.

Noah was the one most hurt by his sister's death. How could he just-

"Samantha, I'm sorry... It's not her fault. Don't blame her. I-it's not her- Eliana!" Noah's eyes open and his grip on my waist tightens. I stare at him as his vision focuses.

I'm such a dumbass.

He does blame me. Somewhere inside, he's guilty for being on my side during all this.

I am causing him pain being here, I knew that. I didn't think it was like this though. I couldn't feel how deep because I was blinded by my own emotions.

I smile, wrapping my arms around his head, pressing him closer to my chest. Moisture fills my eyes again, threatening to leak out.

I need to leave. I can't stay here. I have to go and take of all of this. For all your sake.

"Eliana?" He groans out. I don't budge, holding him close.

You've been fighting everyone and yourself for me. Thank you. Thank you but stop hurting yourself like this.

"Let's go get breakfast." I say, quickly hoping out of bed, wiping at my eyes. I slip into the bathroom, shutting it behind me.

"Hey, what are you in a hurry for? I hate it out there. Let's sleep in a little bit." He says, yawning as he gets out of bed, his footsteps heavy against the floor.

I can't face him right now.

"No, I'm hungry. We can't hide in here." I say, Twisting the cold water faucet on. A shock goes through me as the cold water splashes on my face.

Noah sighs, The sound of his feet heading back to bed.

Good. I don't want to breakdown in front of him.  I don't want to leave him.

I brush my teeth, hop in the shower, and wash my hair. The warm water trickling down m the drain goes with my time here. I shake my head, scrubbing the shampoo against my scalp.

Thinking like this for too long with alert Noah. We're marked mates. Hiding this will be hard, but I'll do it.

The tears Eve shed yesterday flash through my mind.

That pain will cease soon, just wait.

***

I've run away before. I just have to do it again.

Whispers and glances surround me as I stuff another bite of pancake in my mouth.

I need energy if I want to leave. I have to eat. Even if every bite hurts to swallow.

"She still eats at our table?" A wolf whispers behind me.

"Don't eat here then." Noah says, taking a bite of his food as well. I glance over at him.

"Noah, just let them talk. I'm fine." I reason with him, patting his thigh under the table.

"I'm not fine, but I'll hold back since you want me too. These ungrateful wolves don't even know what you do for them, especially that one." He glares over at Beth, who stands by the arched white entry way of the room.

"Noah, leave it." I state, setting down my fork against my plate. He sighs, nodding. His hand covers mine on his thigh.

I haven't spoken with Beth since the day she said she couldn't see my as her friend.

It's ok, It's ok for her to have that reaction. I expected it. She was probably really close to Samantha as a child, and even now. So it's fine.

She'll also breathe easy with me gone.

"Eliana." I flinch, bringing my dazed gaze back to Noah's. He squints at me, tilting his head a little.

"Are you ok? There's something else going on in your heart. My wolf and I can feel it." My eyes widen as I tense.

No, he doesn't know yet. You're not a part of this pack yet. He can't read your thoughts so clearly, even with the mate bond.

"Yeah, I'm stressed but it's just the situation. Not anything else." I mutter.

"I have to go, ok? Go back to the room and wait for me." Noah says, getting up and planting a kiss on the temple of my head.

"Where?" I ask, sliding my chair out and following behind him as he puts his plate and mine in the sink.

"I still have big plans for the Moonstribe. There's a meeting to decide when we'll battle." He says, putting the plates away into the cabinet. My heart sinks.

I have to take care of my old pack before Noah gets his involved. His mom was right, I brought this fight to them and I should be able to take my burden back.

I won't let them relive the pain of losing their members. I'm going back to the hell that trapped me for 18 years. I can't let them harm people who have been so kind to me.

I'm willing to get stuck in the torment of that prison again.
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