CONSENT: Book 1 in The Dangerous Games series

Chapter 36

It's been a little over two weeks since I sat down in the diner with Xavi. The process has been slow but I think we are finally in a good place. I owe a lot of that to Circe. She has explained so much to Xavi and opened up his mind to alternate lifestyles. However, it is definitely not a lifestyle option for him. Surprisingly, neither is it for Circe. Come to find out it's just a gimmick she uses at the club. She learned everything she knew about BDSM through conversations with Gage. When she told Xavi this, his face was priceless. You can bet your sweet ass it took a long conversation with Circe to make him comfortable with Gage being around me. He still refuses to leave Gage and I alone together.

I haven't seen much of Natasha and Torie since I moved. I've been spending most of my spare time with Circe. My brother was right. She's an awesome chick once you get to know her. Between her and Thomas, most of my down time stays filled. When I'm not with them I'm working or with my brother. Xavi did have one request in regards to the entire situation with Ethan and David. He asked if I could take a break from the two of them while he was "taking it all in." He told me things were tense enough between them and around the house in general. Xavi doesn't really know what to say or how to act around them. The whole environment is just uncomfortable all the way around. Ethan and I both told Xavi that we understood.

While Ethan and I talk, mostly at work, David is a completely different story. He won't talk to me outside of work. Most of the time he is cordial at the club. He says hello, asks and answers work related questions and that sort of thing. On rare occasions I might catch him looking at me. When I catch his eye, however, he quickly walks away. There was one time at work, he stepped to me and opened his mouth with a deep breath. I froze, waiting for whatever windfall was about to explode from him. Instead his chest just slowly deflated like a balloon and his eyes fell to his feet. When he turned away I grabbed his arm and he yanked it away as if my touch burned him. He glared at me hard before walking away. I let him go. I'm still not exactly sure what that was all about.

I'm sorta glad that I decided to take a break. It has given me time to do a lot of thinking. I've noticed that since we stopped having sex Ethan and I don't really seem the same. I know we care for each other, that's not what I mean. It's just we've known each other all our lives. All of my stories he's already heard or they are his stories too. We know everything about each other. There is nothing new to learn. Take away the physical connection and we seem to be left with a lot of awkward silence time on the phone. I've also been thinking about myself and my life and what I really want. All of this started because someone who said they loved me wanted to turn my fantasy into a reality. But is this something he really wants or was it something fun to try? Did I get all I wanted out of it? Or was that simply my first step toward a lifestyle I never knew I needed? If we are on the same page, where would we go from here? Does David play a role? Does he still want to? What if Ethan and I don't feel the same way about this lifestyle? If I had to choose I'm honestly not sure what choice I would make. My phone lights up on the table as my text alert sounds. I'm off for the weekend and have plans with Circe. I've been sitting around just waiting for her to get home.

Text Message:

Circe: Hey babe, finally at the house. Head over whenever. Let me know so I can

order pizza.

Me: Hey hottie! Waiting on you, leaving now. Be there soon.

I'm staying with her tonight. Movies, pizza, drinking, just your typical girls night. I left Thomas a note so he wouldn't worry. I grab my bag before locking up and getting into my car. I shot Xavi a text even though I know he's working. I've been trying to keep him in the loop when I get out of the house. I guess I've been trying to keep us close since the move.