CONSENT: Book 1 in The Dangerous Games series

Chapter 44

Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!

My eyes must have widened to unbelievable proportions. His look of amusement quickly fades into one of concern. He placed his hand on my thigh. "Darlin' what are you so afraid of me seeing in here?" He held up the list as his eyes searched my face. "Nothing!" I didn't mean to snap at him, "I'm sorry. I-I guess it's just...we went out that one time a-and we've been friends since then but ...." As my words falter he puts down the papers and takes my hand in his. Softly his finger starts tracing lazy circles across my palm. He cast his eyes down, looking at our hands, his thumb gliding over my skin. Without his intense gaze I find my voice easier to control. "We haven't really talked about anything intimate like sex before. I've never talked about anything as detailed as that list with anyone. I guess giving you that information makes me feel a little self conscious."

"But I gave you all of the same information about me," he reminds me. His eyes remain down, he watches the graceful movement of his digit dancing over my palm. He does have a point. I did leave with all of the same information about him. What exactly am I afraid of? This is what I want so why am I acting like this? I know if I sabotage this because of my own stupid insecurity I will never forgive myself. I realize that I'm at a crossroads in my life. One where a single choice changes everything you think you know about life. You can play it safe and stay in the comfort zone you've come to know. Or you can risk it all and take that chance that your heart is dying to take. I wouldn't be where I am now if I'd have played the safety card all my life. So why the hell am I being such a pussy? Pushing myself up on my knees, I leaned over and grabbed the list he had placed on the table. His lip curls up slightly in the corners as I sit back, putting the papers back in his free hand.

"Alright sir, let's start at the top," I sigh. I cock one eyebrow and tilt my head giving the illusion of confidence. With a light squeeze he releases my hand and picks up a pen and notepad. "Okay, I will attach the whole list to the contract. However, I will make a note of the soft and hard limits for quick reference." I nod as I hold his gaze. I feel my face flush but refuse to look away. I can see in his eyes that this pleases him. I feel myself smiling and pulling my spine straight. He laughs as he glances over the first page of the list. "So it seems your first soft limit is the use of canes," he says without a trace of judgment in his voice. "Yeah, I um, I don't know about that one." He nods slightly at my words. "I understand your hesitation. If you've never had it done it can be an intimidating thought. I'm glad to see you aren't opposed to possibly exploring the topic at a later time."

"The hairbrush thing sounded weird to me too," I threw out before he continued, "I'm very much on the fence when it comes to being hit with one." Gage's boisterous laughter fills the room. "Out of everything on this list you find spanking with a hairbrush weird." He reaches out and cups my jaw in his large hand. My body relaxes as my eyes fall into slits. Unconsciously I pull my bottom lip between my teeth. "Fuucckkk..." Gage draws out in a whisper. He runs his thumb over my bottom lip, gently tugging it from my teeth. Opening my eyes I see desire dripping from his face as he looks into my eyes. The amber flecks shimmer against the slowly deepening green. "Please don't bite that bottom lip darlin'." Pulling back, he clears his throat and flips to the second page of the list.

"We can try anything you aren't sure of and if you decide you don't like it then we won't do it. Does that sound alright?" Damn, this man gets me hot! "Yes, that sounds perfect." I suppress a smile as I feel the heat grow in my cheeks. I attempted to squelch the flames he lit inside me. "Aaand ...I see we've reached hard limits." I lean over the top of the page to see where he is. The word bestiality, circled quite plainly and roughly ten or fifteen times, flashes up at me. "YES! Do people really do that shit??" I feel my mouth curl in disgust. "From what I understand, yes. But I don't know anyone personally who has," he informs me. "I don't even want to think about it, it's repulsive," my words drip with disdain. "Hey, don't judge. When I take you out publicly you can't do that. You have to keep any discrimination to yourself, no matter how hard that may be. That shit goes back centuries. You and I may not agree with it but it's out there. Now let's move on."