CONSENT: Book 1 in The Dangerous Games series

Chapter 38

"You asked me why going was a need and not a desire. The answer is difficult to explain. My emotions only get more and more confused by the day. I feel like something is missing. I don't know if this is it but it's the only thing I haven't fully explored. I just.....I don't know anyone else to ask Gage. I am sorry about showing up like that. I never meant to make you so mad or to put you in an awkward position."

Gage hasn't made a sound. He hasn't moved an inch since I began talking. His eyes are glued to me, almost looking straight through me. As if he were studying a piece of art I can practically feel his gaze breaking me down into sections as he assesses each and every layer of me. I don't feel uncomfortable by this. If anything, I feel almost empowered by enrapturing him so completely. We sit in silence for several minutes as an intense energy passes between us. Finally, with a deep breath he began to speak. "What you were about to walk into was very different from the bedroom games you've probably been playing with David and Ethan. Yes, David has been on the scene before, but I seriously doubt he has taken you to that level."

"I'm not entirely ignorant, Gage. I've done some research. And David, well he has a lot of......equipment in a specially furnished room." Gage looks mildly surprised by that information. "David has a playroom? Well ... .how very 50 Shades of him." His sarcasm doesn't escape me and I resist the urge to roll my eyes. "While I'm sure he can afford the finest and most expensive toys, I highly doubt you made use of a quarter of it." My eyes reveal the answer to his unasked question. "That's what I thought." He chuckles as he runs his hand through his hair. Throwing his head back he sighs as though he's simultaneously exasperated and enchanted. "Oohh my GGoddd Katya!" he exclaims loudly.

Sitting back up he smiles at me, resting his chin in his hand. "What to do with you?....what to do?...." He teases. After he stares at me a moment longer he seems to come to some sort of inner resolution. He sits back and slaps his palms against his thighs. The sound from the impact against the denim startles me and I jolt from my mental daze. "Well, I think we should both get some sleep and see where our heads are in the morning." What? What did I just hear him say? Maybe I heard him wrong. "What? Are you serious? I didn't even get to ask you anything yet."

"I never said you were going to." I should be angry at his words, downright infuriated even. But his demeanor is so calm it's almost contagious. His words are direct without any adverse tonality. He simply presents an air of confidence and control. I find it comforting in a way, not to mention sexy as hell. I must have the most mixed emotional look on my face. With a sigh he inches closer to me on the couch. He takes my hands in his, caressing my palms with his thumbs as he talks to me in that same smooth voice. "Look darlin', until a few weeks ago you had no idea about this part of my life. I'm happy you trust me enough to come to me about this Katya. However, I need to think about some things before we discuss anything further." I opened my mouth to speak and he laughed out loud as he shook his head. "Let me finish first," he continued with amusement lining his words, "Patience is something you lack baby girl and something you need to work on if you expect a place in this lifestyle. Keep that in mind no matter what."

"Now, back to what I was saying.... There are gatherings for people who are new and just starting this journey. I know you think you have experience but darlin', my world is very different from what you think you know. What you were about to witness at that party.... Well, let's just say it would have made 50 Shades look like an episode of Sesame Street. You're not ready for that, not even close baby girl. I need time to think, we can talk more tomorrow and you can ask me a thousand questions then if you need to." I nod my head as my eyes remain on our clasped hands. "What are you thinking so hard about? Whatever it is, just say it," he encourages with a sincere gaze. "I'm just really sorry Gage, I hope you believe that." He reaches out and pulls me into his arms. Instantly I fully relax and finally feel forgiven. "I forgave you darlin' the moment you stuttered against that tree." I pull back and look at him, my mouth hanging open. His eyes gleamed with mischief as he guffawed at my reaction. "You asshole," I tease, smacking my hand lightly against his chest. "Come on, it's time to get some sleep darlin'." I sneak into Circe's room so I don't wake her. So many thoughts run through my head as I climb into the empty twin bed across from Circe's. As my head hit the pillow I pulled the covers up to my chest. I don't think I'll ever fall asleep.