Aviophobia ||L.Felix x B.C.Chan||

LXIV. Fell

Chan pov

15-04, the fiftheenth of april, the first time I had a panic attack while the guys were there as well. It's been a few years and after that night it basically became a term we used when someone has a hard time and needs support or cuddles.

Minho explained it the same way to Felix, but more storytelling and more details. I heard Felix's small reactions and little sniffles because he cried again.

I wish I could be there with him, but Minho will have to do for now. Normally I could've sent him to Woojin, but he had messaged that he and Jeongin would sleep in the same room, and we all know Jeonginnie needs enough sleep.

He's pretending to be tough and strong but he was very shocked by everything today, as we all were, and he was already almost asleep while waiting to visit Seungmin.

I heard a yell down the hall and automatically jumped out of bed to see what it was, but failed to stand and fell down again. Through the slightly opened door I saw how a thin man, I'd guess him to be about 55 years old, had fallen off his wheelchair.

It hurt in my mind and soul to know he had fallen, yet am unable to help him from here, for I can't even get up myself.

The pounding in my head became worse. I held onto the side of the hospital bed to remember what was where despite the speed the world was turning with in front of my eyes.

I tried to stay silent and held my free hand over my mouth to hold back any possible need to throw up. I heard a noise from my right. Footsteps?

"Chan! Fucking hell mate you can't stand, you know that!" Changbin's soft yet alarmed voice sounded close to me. I felt his arm around my waist but shook my head.

I tried to point at the hall, for I knew the man was still there, but my nausea made it hard to see where exactly everything was.

Changbin seemed to realize what I meant after a short moment and hurried out of the room. The headache started to cancel out any other noise and I could hear my heartbeat.

A short while later four footsteps returned. Three arms locked around mine and my torso, carefully lifting me back into the bed. After what felt like both hours and seconds the world became still and I could tell apart shapes and voices again.

"Sorry for the bother Bin. Good morning nurse. Is the man down the hall okay?" I laid still in the bed while I tried to read the nurse's card. Seonghwa?

The nurse nodded. His messy brown hair fluffed all over the place, but it still looked stylish. "We were in the middle of the change of shifts so I noticed later than I should've. Thank you very much for warning your friend."

"I wanted to go myself but uhm" I motioned at my legs and head with an apologetic smile.

Changbin slapped my stomach with his good hand "this dumbass isn't supposed to -nor able to- stand because his head was introduced to an aggressive brick. Brick upon brick forces one of them to crack. This time it was the blonde brick that broke."

The nurse grinned and chuckled, forgetting to be professional for a moment. "I'm sure the other brick was a lot less beautiful and complicated to fix though. My colleagues told me y'all in this room are friends? Or at least all in the same nasty situation."

"We are, yeah." Changbin smiled at the man -well, boy- and sat down by my side.

The nurse seemed to realize he had to be professional, not like a friend. "Erhm- anyways, uhm.. Mr. Seo? I was told you would stay by Kim Seungmin's side to wake him up every hour as checkup? " He looked at Changbin, for he was the only one not in a hospital bed.

"Ah yes, I have to do so again in..." He looked at his watch "...20 minutes. I would also do it for this blonde flop here but he hasn't gone to sleep yet, so I can't wake him up either."

The nurse looked at me with a raised eyebrow "we can get you sleeping medication if needed? Or is there something special bothering you?"

I shook my head, majorly regretting it for my head started hurting and turning more again. "..n...no, don't worry about it. It's just a lot that happened, and I don't sleep a lot usually either. I already got so many meds, I'd rather not. Thanks for offering though."

"Well, in that case I'll quickly check the stats and let you be. If anything's needed, y'all can just ask for Seonghwa." He did as said and after checking on Seungmin he left again.

Seonghwa.. He's chill. Could've easily been a friend of mine if we met in different circumstances.

"Minho, is Lixie asleep yet?"
"Yeah, but what the fuck happened on your side? I couldn't properly hear your talking"
"Nothing big, I forgot how much my body would fuck me over if I stood or walked. You good over there?"

"Absolutely. Felix is so cute, even like this. He said I was soft."
"You kinda are sometimes, darling"
"Shut up. Anyways he's sound asleep now. How's it there? Min? My sungie? I heard bin's voice when you apparently crashed out of bed like a drunk whale"

"What? How'd you know I got out of be- bin. Put away your phone." Changbin showed me the message he had sent Minho a minute ago, explaining what happened in not so elegant terms.

I sighed and continued talking "anyways, Jisung is asleep, so is Seungmin for now. Sung grumpily agreed to get painkillers. These kids are seriously annoying when it's about being hurt."

"Tell me about it.. Felix broke down twice tonight, and for the first one he had held it in for too long, and I'll find out about the second in the morning. It's great that he messaged and called with you instead of -again- hiding it from everyone."

"Hey Minho?"
"What"
"In the sink in the bathroom are razorblades, scissors, bandaids and some other things. See that they're put away well tomorrow morning and not just laying around somewhere."

"Razor-.. He didn't do it yet, did he?"
"No, he was panicking and almost had a fallback, apparently. He didn't do it though. And I don't think he will again, but I need to be sure, therefore make sure they're put away well."

"Will do mate. Imma end the call for now kay? I heard a knock on the door."
"Alright, sleep tight, if you're gonna."
"Same for you baby"