Pushed Aside

Findings and Peace

Zay's POV

The ride back to my house after spending a few hours with my boyfriends hit different. This time it's dark and the only thing that's going through my mind is how the one person that I've been wishing and waiting for has little to no chance of loving me the way I want and need so bad.

I think I'm drunk on all the lemonade I drank, my mind doesn't seem to be being too nice to me.

Though I'm trying to joke about the pain that's shooting in my chest, it's not funny in the slightest, but it's the only way I can hold myself together. Just another depressed kid with an unhealthy coping mechanism. There seems to be an abundance of us in the world.

I park the car in front of my apartment and lean back in the seat, not rushing myself upstairs since there's no one that's going to be waiting on the other side.

I try to hide it at work, but not feeding with my Chain is seriously breaking my body down.

I'm exhausted and cranky and emotionally drained and all I want is some dick and a few cuddles and I'll be on my way. I snort to myself as I take the key out of the ignition and get out of the car. As if that would ever happen.

I make sure my bag is in hand and I have my phone and keys before I make my way up the stairs and towards my room that's all the way down the hall and to the left. I put my key in the knob and turn it, walking into an empty cold apartment making me smile sadly at myself.

Another lonely night in the books.

Without turning in the lights, I make my way to my room, only to throw my bag on my bed before I'm making my way back down the hallway to the kitchen.

I open the fridge and use the light from it to look for food. But as I look inside, I don't even try, knowing my stomach is too much in knots for anything solid in my system even if it's the only thing keeping me alive right now. I close the fridge after getting a bottle of water and make my way back to my room.

It's still early to my mind, used to partying and fucking into the early hours of the morning.

I look around for something to do, and decide on the laundry. I go to my hamper in the corner and begins separating the clothes into different piles to be washed. Once the hamper is empty, I turn around and head to my bed to wash my uniform, though I don't really need to, only looking for something to do.

But when I open my bag I'm hit with the smell of Sage and Lemons like a brick to the head and my gaze goes hazy as I breath in the scent of Elliot.

Once my head clears, I try to figure out how it got into my bag until I remember today. After Elliot gets what he needs from my locker I just throw whats left into my bag. But since he didn't come back from changing, I must have gotten his shirt.

I stare at the cloth in my hands, nothing significant about the piece of clothing, but it's so important to me.

I sit on the bed, completely forgetting about the task I had given myself as the smell of my Chain fills my head and my thoughts, driving away anything negative that continues to claim my mind and tell me how worthless I am. Not really thinking about what I'm doing, I raise the shirt to my nose and inhale deeply, feeling myself calm down the more I take him in.

The sweet soft scent of Elliot, the human that caught my attention and refused to give it back.

As I continue to breath him in, I feel my cock beneath my jeans get hard, jerking against the material that's constricting it. I think about putting his shirt down and going about my night, but in a fit of selfishness and guilty pleasure, I go against the Angel on my shoulder and lean into my Incubus genes.