Pushed Aside

Fear and Looks

Zay's POV

     Just as I'm about to leave my apartment, I remember that shirt I had perfectly folded and left on the kitchen counter. I let the door shut once more before I head back to grab it, closing it in my bag before I finally leave. As I make my way downstairs, I try to shake the nerves from my limbs.

      Though I woke up feeling more refreshed than I have in the past week, I still have this uneasy feeling about today.

       And I think it's because I know that sometime soon I'm going to have to Elliot about being my Chain. It might also be because I feel a bit guilty about last night, using his scent and get my rocks off, no matter how hungry I am. It makes me feel dirty about sex and pleasing myself to the first time in my life and I don't like it.

       And that feeling solidified my decision to give his shirt back.

        I unlock my car and open the door, throwing my bag into the passenger seat before I hop in and close it behind me. I start my car up before putting on my seatbelt and setting the car is drive before I'm making my way out of the parking lot and towards work. As I got ready this morning, I thought a lot about what Ares said last night when it comes it patience and he's right.

      So far I've been thinking on Supernatural time, knowing that usually the bonded couple would at least be getting to know each other with the intentions of spending the rest of their lives together. But I don't have a super, I have a human, and I need to remember that and not rush myself or him when it comes to this delicate situation we've found ourselves in.

      The drive to work is a blur and I suddenly find myself in front of the Aquarium with no memory of the drive.

     I shake my head to clear it and get out the car with my bag in hand. Once I have it secure, I close the door and lock it as I make my way up the sidewalk and pass Tyler who is staring at me from the security guard hut. "Good morning, Zay." He tells me and I can't resist.

         "Oh it sure is." I tell him, giving him a wink as he sighs wistfully. I shake my head as laugh to myself and walk up to the door, pressing my tag against the lock before it buzzes and the door clicks. I pull it open and I'm hit with the sweet smell of Lemons and Sage.

       He must have just gotten here for it to smell so fresh.

      Even though I know he's not exactly speaking to me since I asked him out, I can't help the spark of excitement that fills me at the thought of seeing him today.

      I walk down the hallway and don't see the newbie at Ms.Wendys desk, so I just have just missed him. I turn to the receptionist to give her a smile and jump back when I see the glare that facing me. "Whoa, what did I do to get such a look, baby?" I ask, trying to stay positive, but the look doesn't move from her face or stern eyes.

       "What did you do to Elliot?" She says and I'm struck with a frown. Done to him?

        "What are you talking about?" I ask her, suddenly very worried for my Chain, wanting to see what has Ms. Wendy is talking about so I can make sure he's okay for myself.

       "He has bags under his eyes and he ran to the back as soon as he heard you coming. What did you do to the boy, Zayvion?" She asks me and whatever good mood I had managed to find this morning disappears instantly, seeing what type of day it's going to be.

      "I asked him out to a café yesterday. He's barely said anything to me since." I tell her, destroyed that he hates the idea of me so much he's loosing sleep over it. Ms. Wendy vasos and her hand or brought up to her mouth in surprise.

       "I'm so sorry baby." She tells me and I try to give her a smile but the effort is wasted as I turn away from the desk and walk down the hallway towards the locker room slowly.

        I open the door when I get there and see Elliot no where to be found. I breath a sigh of relief before I walk to my locker and do the combination, shoving my bag inside. I think about waiting for Elliot to come out his stuff inside, but I don't think I can handle that interaction right now. So instead, I take his shirt out of my bag and place it in the locker beside my bag before I close it, placing the lock on there without closing it.

     I walk away from it and head towards the door, only stopping to clock myself in and place the paper it spits out in the trash.

      I open the door, just as I hear someone coming around the corner and head to our first position, greeting those who come inside, knowing he'll find his way here just like last week. Maybe I'm chicken shit for not wanting to see the effect I had in his body, but I don't want to see it, not when I had thought so positively about today.

     So instead of torturing myself more than I already am, I make my way down the hallway, past the reaction area, Ms. Wendy leaving me alone for once, and enter the area for visitors.

       Like always when we open, there's a long line to get in, everyone always having the same idea: to get there before the crowd. Kind of ironic if you ask me.

      I walk over to my area, ten feet to the right from where Elliot will be standing soon. I look over towards the entrance and see Ares staring at me with a raised brow. I just shake my head in his direction and he nods his in understanding. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Elliot come out of the door to the left and walk towards our position. He stops where he's supposed to, but I still feel a pang in my chest with so much space between us that wasn't there yesterday before I had to fuck up everything.

       I begin greeting those around me, trying my best to smile and wave at everyone that passes me. One old lady, a werewolf, stops to talk to me about the new exhibits and how to donate towards the cause and she's the first one to make a genuine smile fall from my lips.

      As I work, I keep feeling eyes on me, but when I look up I don't see anyone looking at me, though I see Ares check up on me about an hour after we start working.

       I find myself sneaking glances at Elliot, his muscled arms and body catching my attention too many times to count.

        Even from so far away, as he interacts with visitors, I can tell something is wrong and the realization makes me sad to know that it's all my fault.

        At one point I feel eyes staring at me as I look up at Elliot and I catch his eyes on me already. I expect for him to look away but he holds my gaze for a second making my heart jump in my throat until someone approaches him with a question.

       Once his eyes falls from mine, I turn away, my lungs and heart no longer working properly.

       What the hell even is today?

~~~~~~~~
This chapter and most likely the next are going to be shorter than usual because they are filler chapters for the last two I will be posting tonight. I'm proud of the updates I did today. And can you believe this book already almost has 20 chapters?!

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QOTD: Did you take a nap today?