Pushed Aside

Outtings and Giggles

Zay's POV

I have to hold back my moan as I bite into the food that got set in front of me. This is the second dinner that I've had heat and if I didn't have to live so far away, I would definitely try to come here every night.

This is sex on a plate.

If I could make love to the food on my plate, I definitely would.

I look up from the food in front of me and I turn towards Elliot who I find smirking at me, his own plate close to empty just like mine. I slowly finish chewing the food in my mouth and wipe it carefully with red cheeks.

"What?" I ask him and he shakes his head, instead it's his dad who answers across the table from me.

"You act like you've never had a home cooked meal before." He says and though I know he meant is as a joke, I can't help the ping of pain that comes as I think about my childhood. I try my best at a smile as I answer him.

"Oh, I haven't. Except for when Elliot cooks sometimes." I amend, looking back down at my plate, not wanting to ruin my good mood.

"Your parents aren't much cooks? That's how my sister is, her lazy ass just comes over here and tried to eat up all my food whenever she gets the chance." He grumbles and it makes me laugh loudly, shaking my head at his pouting expression.

When I turn back to Elliot, his deep brown eyes are on me, a slight frown in between his brows as he looks at me and it makes me sober up a bit, worried that I'm messing up again.

Ever since dinner yesterday and he let me stay after for a few hours, I've been trying my best to make sure that I'm actually listening to him. That I get to know him as Elliot, the art major that got a job because he wanted to and not because he needed to and not as Elliot, that man that's supposed to love me because he's my soulmate and that's the most important thing.

Before we talked, I never noticed that little things that I did to him. Like the pouting when Iw ant him to stay longer, hug me more, not leave me. Or when I use it lips and body against him.

I haven't said anything about realizing it, but once I started paying attention to what I was doing, I felt like shit. In a way, I always knew what I was doing so I could get more of his attention and get him to be with me just a little bit longer, but I never thought about it hurting or annoying him. I never just stopped to ask him what he wanted to do or just simply as him to stay for a few more minutes.

When I talked to Brice a few days ago, I didn't believe the words he said about pushing someone away and that you can't force them to love you.

Growing up, the only thought pushed into my head is that when you find your soulmate, everything will be perfect. They will be the best for you and you won't have to worry about anything because that person will be your happiness and it will all be okay.

What no one ever tells you is that this is hard.

You have to learn each other properly so that you can love each other correctly.

And while it's something that should be common sense, I was so caught up in what Elliot could do for me and not what I could do to make it easier.

I've had a lot of time to think.

"Let's go out tonight." Elliot tells me and I snap out of my head and back to him as he looks at me softly and I smile nervously at him.

"You want to go somewhere?" I ask him nervously and he smiles a bit, his lips twitching on the corner as he nods at me softly.

"Yeah. We can call it a date." He tells me and I feel my eyes prick with tears and emotions, new ones inside my chest that feel different that they did before. Deeper. Realer. That don't just happen when he gives me a sexy look or flirts with me. It happens with he smiles, when his brown eyes catch the light and they look like honey. When he rolls his eyes at me but he can't stop the laugh from falling from his lips.