Pushed Aside

Homecomings and Distractions

Elliot's POV

Today is the day Courtney comes home. And I'm sweating bullets. In our four years of being together, I've never even looked at someone other than her. I was already saving up to buy her a ring, and now, after all that time, I can't even honestly tell her I love her anymore.

And I hate it, but I know I have to tell her.

When I think about my future I see a cocky smile and green eyes, I don't see a picket fence and two kids running around the yard with her by my side.

I don't get excited when I see her, think about her only fills me with dread, and the only thing I can think about is how fucked up it all is. Because as much as Zayvion is sweet and funny and beyond sexy, he's not what I planned for. He's not who I praised and loved and worshiped for years. He's not the heart I have to sit down and break because of not exactly a choice, but something that I have no control over, whether or not I gave into it.

It's ironic.

Change.

Something that's inevitable in life but something that causes pain, anxiety and torture throughout the world.

I'm laying on the bed, my back against the mattress as I stare up at the ceiling of my room. I came home again last night so I wouldn't have to sit around Zay's apartment and let him watch me as I go through the motions of saying goodbye.

It's seven o'clock now, the morning sun just now starting to peek through the clouds and fill my room with a soft warm glow that doesn't quite fit the day. It should be pouring down raining with dark music blasting from Hod knows where. This is saying goodbye, not just to Courtney, but to the dreams I held for four years, my expectations, all of it.

None of it matters now, but it still sucks to let it go.

My sigh is deep as it comes out of my chest, unable to shut my eyes for even a second to get some sleep, having been up all night. Not wanting to just lay there for any longer, I get up off the bed and make my way out of my room, opening my door quietly. I walk down the hallway in my shorts, entering the kitchen , only using the light over the stove as I open up the fridge and grab some water.

I lean against the counter and up it slowly, just needed something to do as I wait for twelve o'clock to roll around.

It's definitely a feeling of dread I feel, but also a sense of relief. It'll be one less thing I'll have to worry about. I'm still standing in the kitchen thirty minutes later, staring off into space when I hear a door open down the hall. I look up and I see Mike turn into the kitchen, yawning as he stretches his sore body.

"Hey man." He greets me as he moves in front of me, reaching on top of the fridge to reach for a banana. He offers me one but I shake my head, knowing my stomach wouldn't be able to take anything.

"Hey." I answer back, thinking to myself quietly, barely paying attention to him beside me.

"So today's the day huh?" He asks me with a grin and I turn towards him with a frown.

"Yes. It is." I tell him. "Don't be so fucking happy about it." I tell him and he frowns back at me as if I just said the worst thing I could ever say.

"Don't tell me you're second guessing this whole thing." He looks at me angrily and I scoff at him before pushing myself off the counter, really trying to look at him to make sure this is really the best friend I've had all my life.

"I'm not. I'm mourning for a life I've planned for since high school and I'm saying good bye to a girl that's had my heart just as long. That's not something to be happy about Mike." I tell him and he shakes his head before giving me a warning.

"All I'm saying is, don't fuck this up." He tells me and I just turn away from him, throwing my empty bottle away as I go towards the back to my room to get ready. They will never understand. I try not to let myself think about it as I gather up some clothes for me to wear and head towards the bathroom to start getting ready.

✨✨✨

I'm standing among a crowd of people as we all wait for loved ones and friends to arrive from their flights. I don't have a fancy board with Courtney's name on it, but I'm standing in the same spot I always do when she comes home.

I feel my chest tighten once more as I think about what I'm about to do.

I know I shouldn't wait any longer, even if it's so she doesn't have to deal with this on the same day that she got home, but I can't help butt wish there was another way.

I didn't say anything else to Mike when I left the apartment, even as he called goodbye and another warning. I left three hours early and found myself sitting in a park, gaze distant as I just sat there and waited. Those three hours felt like forever and not nearly long enough. Because no matter how long it took, I'm here now and there's no other options on what to do.

I hear the commotions as people cheer and start laughing and screaming out in joy and I look up to see passengers finally arriving where we all are waiting for them.

My hands feel clammy in my pockets as I search the faces until I finally see her. She's already looking at me with her big brown eyes that made her get the nickname in the first place. Her smile is big as she walks toward me, his skin a little bit more tan than the last time I saw her. She's glowing. And I can't tell if that makes this easier or harder.

She finally arrived where I am and she smiles up at me before reaching for me and giving me a hug that I return.

She pulls back and greets me as she always does. "Long time no see." She tells me and I grab her suitcase for her before turning towards the exit.

"Good to see you again." I respond and she laughs as she begins to tell me all about her trip.

"My mom asked about you. She was proud when I told her that you got your first job even if you didn't need it." She tells me and I feel my throat tighten up at all the memories and everything else that will be lost in the wind.

I laugh to myself, trying to clear my throat as best I can, not ready for the conversation just yet, not wanting the awkward car ride home or making a scene at the airport. She deserves better than that.

She deserves better than a lot.

We walk outside to the car and the two of us continue talking as we get there. Well she talks and I listen to the sound of her voice, ready to tuck it into my memories for when I'm ever just missing the easy friendship and the sound of her laugh.

"Where are we going?" She asks me and we get in the car and her suitcase is in the back. I sigh before I turn to her with nearly wet eyes.

"We're going to your apartment." I tell her and she looks at me as I pull out of the parking space and start us on the way towards highway that leads to her home. The ride there is mostly silent as we drive, the music in the background filling the space. It takes us twenty minutes to get there and I turn off the car, hoping out along with her, grabbing her suitcase before the two is it start upstairs.

We get to her door and she unlocks it, allowing her both inside, and I close the door behind me.

When I turn back around, arms are around my waist, her head pressed against my chest, ear over my heart as she listens. I wrap my arms around her shoulders and let her hug me, holding her a little bit tighter. Not ready at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
As we go into the next chapter please remember that things are not always as they seem. Also remember to go into everything with an open mind. Hope you have some tissues ready!

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