Pushed Aside

Coffee and Irriation

Elliot's POV

I'm in Zay's kitchen, staring at the coffee pot in front of me as I try to figure it out. I have never tried to make coffee before, but I know Zay loves it.

I woke up early this morning and decided to make him coffee and be a nice house guest. That and my cock was already hard, aching to be buried in Zay's ass again, but I'm not so sure either of us are ready for that.

Not that my mini me wants to listen.

I have never kissed a guy before Zayvion, much less fucked one, but last night. Last night stirred some things up inside me that I don't quite know what to do with.

So instead of hurting my head and more than likely the both of us with overthinking, I decided to try and make a nice warm drink for Zay, hoping to make him smile in the morning. Lately, his crazy eyes have been trying to hide from me, probably to protect himself, but those green emeralds shone bright last night and I would be lying if I said they didn't put me under a spell.

I pick up the box of coffee in front of me and read the back of it, praying that it will give me some sort of insight to what I'm supposed to be doing with these grounded up coffee beans sitting in front of me.

But apparently, all the stupid box wants to do is tell me about how their coffee is grown and how fresh and nice it is.

That's great.

But where's the instructions?

I'm thinking about just getting in my car to go get Zay some coffee when I hear a sniffle. My ears aren't as good as a supernatural, but I would bet my whole art collection that that was a sniffle I just heard. And not an allergy one.

With the box in hand and a frown in my face, I make my way from the kitchen and towards Zay's room where I hear the sniffles coming from. I push open the door and find the Hybrid with his eyes closed as tears fall on to the sheets of the bed, him holding the pillow I was using close to his body.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I ask him out loud, moving towards him hesitantly, hoping that I didn't fuck up yet again, just now getting the hang of this whole thing.

I was as he jumps, his eyes flying open to meet mine, green eyes tinted ref by the tears. His frowns as he pushes himself up with one hand and looks at me with dewey green eyes that make me almost lose my train of thought. "I thought you left." Zay tells me quietly, and it pulls me right back into reality.

"Left?" I ask in confusion before holding up the container of coffee in my hands. "I was trying to figure out how to make you coffee."

I watch as his cheeks flush red and his looks away as if embarrassed and it makes me a little upset. I think about letting it go, but I know if I do, it's going to bother me for a while. I go towards the bed and face the door with a sigh, a foot of space between Zay and I as I grasp the coffee with two hands.

"I know you probably will never fully trust me because I'm a human, but at least trust my actions. I've never left you and not come back. And I've only left you without you knowing once, the first time I slept over. I know that I've messed up before, but don't try to put things I've never done on me." I tell him. He doesn't answer me and I turn towards him to see him staring down at his hands, his curly hair almost hiding his eyes from me.

"It's hard to trust you." He tells me and I want to scoff and shake my head and walk away. He's not listening to what I have to say, only hearing what he wants.

"That doesn't mean you don't try. I'm trying. I'm trying damn hard even if this felt near impossible to me in the beginning." I tell him but he still doesn't look at me. But instead of raising a fuss and causing a fight, I take a deep breath and pat his leg closest to me. "Get dressed, I'll be back in an hour. We'll go get some coffee."

His head whips towards me with an hurt expression and I raise my brow in question until he looks away shamefully but it doesn't stop his questions from falling out of his mouth and reaching my ears. "Why are you leaving me?"

"To grab some more clothes and shower and check in with Mike. I only have my work clothes here and some sweats that smell like throw up. And I'm too big to fit your clothes." I try to explain to him as patiently as I can but he still looks as if I kicked his puppy. Sighing in resignation and slightly irritation, I give up. "Fine. I'm washing clothes." I tell him, standing up to get a little space from him. One thing I hate, is being guilted into things because if I do them, it feels forced, but if I don't, i'm made out to be the bad guy. Every time. And in every situation, it's terrible.

A real lose lose situation.

Getting off the bed, I make my way to the hamper in the corner and throw what little close I have here into there as well. Thankfully, Zays apartment has a washer and dryer inside, so I go to the closet in the kitchen and open it, putting in the load before starting it.

After thats done, I go to sit on the couch, pulling out my bag thats left under the table, and grab my laptop.

I pull up my Document that I saved and look at the blank page that just has one word on top.

Change.

Oh the fucking irony.

I have so much change going on in my life, from work, to relationships to school, and yet here I sit with a blank paper. There's too many options on what to write and not enough inspiration to do anything with them.

This assignment is due soon and I know I should start but all I have is that one word that means everything and literally nothing.

Instead of making myself feel like shit over the one thing I can't do, I pull out my sketch book and begin drawing soft lines and curves and dips, memories that are stuck in my mind. I'm so lost in the image before me, the thoughts and feelings coming from the page to my mind and back again, I almost miss when the washer gets done with the clothes.

I reluctantly set the paper aside and take a few minutes to switch out the clothes into the dryer, making sure it's started before I go back to my mini project.

I'm just finishing up when the dryer finishes and I tuck the drawing pad back into my bag before I get up. Not having seen Zay in a while I assume he's sleeping so I gather the clothes I plan on wearing today form the dryer and walk towards the back, peeking into the room and finding Zay on his own computer.

"Hey I'm about to get ready." I tell him and he jumps making me raise my brow in question ok what he was doing but deciding not to ask.

"Okay." He tells me and I squint my eyes at him before I close the door and make my way to the bathroom across the hall. I close the door behind me and I turn on the water, making the steam hit me as I undress and let myself try to relax. The thing about getting a new relationship and meeting someone else is that you have to get used to them.

Their needs.

Their love language.

Their triggers.

What makes them angry happy sad irritated.

And Zay and I are still learning, still growing, still trying to figure out what the hell we're doing and what we're going to do from here.

The reminder to myself as well as the water that hits me as soon as I step into the shower helps me calm down a little. Things don't come easily, even if things are supposed to be perfect for you. Perfect is a subjective word and should be taken as such.

This things between Zay and I isn't easy, but I know that if both of us keeps trying, then maybe things won't turn out so fucked up after all.

~~~~~~~~~
I wanted to bring a little bit of attention towards how inconsiderate and slightly controlling Zay can be towards Elliot. Hopefully this helps you realize that Elliot is not the only one to blame here.

Thoughts?

Comments?

QOTD: Whats your favorite juice?