The Good times (Narry)

Chapter 19

Nialls Pov

"Because I'm gay Niall!" Harry yells

My heart stops, my jaw drops. My ears can't believe what they just heard.

"What?" I ask now quite.

"I'm gay... I'm gay for you. I like you. I really really like you Niall. For months I've watched you be with all these girls and it killed me. So I would go get girls to forget you but it never worked. Because I'm crazy for you Niall James Horan!" Harry's still crying.

My mind races back to the early x-factor days when I liked Harry. I remember the feeling like it was yesterday. I felt so warm and happy, like I could do anything. But that feeling is gone.  Yet I feel some happiness with these words Harry's saying.

Harry that's...that's bad." Is the only thing I can think of saying.

"I know"

"No Harry but like bad. How could you like me. That's gross. This will ruin the band. Nobody would ever support this band if they knew there was a gay in the band. You shouldn't feel this way, it's so wrong. It's disgusting Harry. How are you not disgusted with yourself!"

What am I saying! None of this is true, at least I don't think it is. I hope it's not. But I know Harry isn't disgusting, he's the opposite actually. He needs to know this! But I can't seem to bring myself to say it.

"I am, I am Niall, don't you get it." I lift my sleeve. Showing all my cuts. "I cut myself Niall, I cut myself, the other boys found out and now they think I stopped but Liam still knows. He watches me do it, when I feel tempted he watches. I know that this isn't right. But I thought if I dated Piper all these feelings would go away. And I thought is was going to work. I though she loved me, but now I'm finding out she felt bad for me. Which is fucking fantastic!" Harry tells them he runs off.

I have no time to react, I kind of spaced off once he lifted his sleeve. Harry cuts, my beautiful Harry cuts. Wait...he's not mine, but still. Harry hates himself, the smiley guy at the x-factor that always made us boy smile and laugh together hates himself. Wait...where did he go.

"Harry! Harry!" I yell looking down the different halls.

I get to our changing room to see if he went there. But he wasn't.

"Louis have you seen Harry?" I ask. Louis shakes his head. "Wasn't he with you?"

"Ya, but we got into a fight and I think he ran off."

Liam gets up from his chair looking serious.
"Niall, what do you mean you THINK he ran off?"

"Um" I put my left hand to the back of my neck. "I sort of asked him if he cut himself."

Louis and Zyan stop what they're doing and stare at me. "What!" They say together.

"Piper and I were talking this morning and she said she thought she say cuts all on Harry's body so I confronted him about it." I say.

"But Harry stopped cutting, right Liam." Zayn says.

Liam looks at his feet, "Ya about that, Harry still cuts, and I watch him do it."

Now Louis and Zayn get up from their chairs. "What the hell Liam!" Louis yells.

"When did this start!" Yells Zayn.

"I asked Harry to show me his wrists and chest to see if he had any new scars and he did, but he promised me not to tell you guys or make him stop because it feels like the one think that he can control. I knew I couldn't stop him so I made a deal with him. Anytime he felt the need to cut he needed to come to me so I could supervise him and talk to him." Liam says.

Louis and Zayn both look pissed off, but before they could yell anything more I speak.

"Guys, I get that you're pissed at each other but I made Harry believe that Piper only came of tour with him cause she felt made for him for cutting, then he told me he heard mine and Liams conversation when I was made and said some bad things about him. Then he continued to tell me that he's gay and loves me!" I yell "and now he's missing cause I said some mean things afterwards." I whisper that part.

Liam takes a step closer to me, "like?" He asks.

"That it isn't right and that he should be disgusted with himself." I whisper again.

"WHAT!" All three of them yell.

"I'm sorry, I was shocked, I didn't know what to say!"

"Well you don't fucking say that Niall!" Louis yells.

"I know."

"Oh you know well too late for that now isn't it!" Louis continues.

"Guys! Harry's still missing!" Liam yells.

With that we all leave the room and go around the building looking for Harry. After a long hour we determined that he wasn't in the building. We all meet up outside.

"Okay so Paul cancelled the rest of our day so we can look for Harry." Liam says.

"Nobody I'm the building saw where Harry went?" I ask.

"Nope." Zayn says.

"How is that even bloody possible, he's a pop star in a building filled with people, and not one of them saw anything, seriously." Louis says.

"Clearly not." I snap back at him.

We all walk to the corner when I see a small light on the ground.

"Guy." I bend down and pick it up. "This is Harry's phone."

"Give that too me." Liam snaps and take it.

"Shit."

"What?" Louis asks.

"There's blood on it, Harry's hurt." Liam replies.

No

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