"Tear" - Park Jimin AU

'Tear' - Chapter 41

Hello everyone; I don't know how to start since I've kept all of you waiting this long... A lot has happened this year, worldwide, but also personal.

I'm doing much better than how I used to be, better than when I started writing sad books haha (it was a joke, I enjoy writing these books, but I'm doing much better) - I hope all of you are doing fine too, especially in these hard times everywhere around the world.

I'm really sorry for letting you wait again; I know I've said this a thousand times already yet never do anything about it... I hope you can forgive me :)

Anyways, one day when I opened my Instagram, I received a special DM asking me when I would write on. This message has really inspired me to go on, and if you're reading this, you probably know who I'm talking about (you first messaged me the 12th of December - again, thank you so much for this <3)

I hope you'll enjoy the chapter, and if you forgot a few things (which is totally rational after I waited for too long), it may be smart to read a few chapters back.

Enjoy reading, I love you ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

"Come back home."

My heart skipped a beat as everything around me vanished to turn into black nothingness once again.

Silence; only my quick, shivering breathing that anxiously filled the space around me.

Pale trembling hands that couldn't be stopped and a sudden urge of thirst.

I want to go home.

No; I need to get home.

Without thinking my legs started running as my body got surrounded by the black turmoil that once used to live in my empty heart.

"Jimin!"

Tears streamed down my face as everything around me was still as black as can be.

"Mi-Cha!"

I didn't want to think about the most obvious question.

Was I in hell for all that I had done wrong?

Was this my punishment for never having expressed my feelings; having hurt so many people with my pointless actions - this black nothingness that drives you crazy?

Was this it?

"Please!"

Tears were streaming down my cheeks as my lungs felt like they were mostly made out of stone; heavy to carry and dragging not only my body down, but also my non-existent soul.

"I-"

Without wanting to, my sick feeling body collapsed.

I felt like I had to throw up out of anxiety; Like my organs were acting dysfunctional; Like my negative thoughts had a mind of its own.

"I-"

Gasping for the air I needed so badly - yet was not provided by my exhausted lungs - my eyes widened.

My body started to hyperventilate as my eyes could only look in front of me as tears fell down and a dizzy feeling overwhelmed me.

I can't die.

Not now.

With all the willpower I had I tried to stay sane as I slowly felt like I was losing myself more and more.

"Are you okay?"

I suddenly looked up as a familiar - yet very unknown - voice surprised me.