captain | levi x reader

twenty nine

its okay im here to update, im not gone. >.> sorry it took a long time to update, school was just really stressing me out and like ugh oh god my parents expect me to get good grades and all so yeah.

anyways, lets get on with it shall we?

itskindboringimsosorrybutatleastiupdated ;-;

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As you slather your tears onto the back of your hand, you hopelessly stared at your father. He was gone and you couldn't do anything about it. You knew that this death game had to come sooner or later, but you hadn't had expected to start so soon, and to start with your father.

Hanji felt almost as bad as you did, she could feel the pain inside of you. And for once, she didn't laugh, grin, or crack a joke. This wasn't a joke, she knew the feeling of losing somebody so dear to you and she knew that losing someone wasn't a joke. As a close friend, all she could do was hug you. All she could do was tell you that everything was going to be okay.

And on that evening, you two decided to go back to headquarters after calling the military police. The MP was apparently going to take care of the body, and possibly find out who killed him. It was silent the whole way back, not a two of you spoke a word. Though you wanted to speak, you wanted to cry at the same time.

When you two finally arrived back at headquarters, you watched as Hanji weakly smiled at you as if she was trying to lighten up the mood. In fact, her smile did help a little. You always found comfort whenever someone were to smile at you.

"We don't have to go in yet." Hanji gestures to the entrance of the headquarters.

"No, it's okay." You insisted.

By now the tears were gone, but you still were deeply sad. And when you had reentered headquarters, you had to put a fake smile upon your face. Sadly for you, Eren knew you way to well and noticed it quickly when you walked passed him. 

"[Y/N]." Eren called.

With your eyes darting towards the boy, a glance is taken upon your shoulder and you meet with a very worried Eren. The way his eyes went big and with the way he had said your name, you really got the feeling that he was genuinely worried.

"Yes?" You whispered softly.

"Why are you back so early?" He tilts his head and walks closer to you.

"Reasons."

"You look sad. If you want, Levi is in hi-"

"No, no. I'm fine."

It was as if he had read your mind because he had instantly knew that you were denying something. But you had your reasons, Eren didn't have to know because getting him involved isn't necessary. In fact, getting anyone else involved isn't necessary either. It was only you whom had to deal with this, and perhaps Hanji as well. Although, Eren was basically forcing all the information you hid from him.

"Tell me what's wrong." After a few more tries of getting anything out of you, he gave up. He thought, sooner or later you'd have to tell him. Eventually. 

So, Eren bowed his head down and slowly walked away, leaving you to walk the opposite way and into Levi's office. Oh how you need his touch right now, you knew that he could somehow bring you the comfort you so desperately needed. Even though he spoke in a way that seemed as if he didn't care, it was enough for you to feel slightly better. 

A few moments had passed a wave of guilt soon washed over you as you saw Eren and how he had walked solemnly away, he was just trying to help but you made the choice to push him away. Perhaps, and hopefully, you won't make that decision if Levi were to ask you about how you were feeling.