I See Your Soul [An Original Michael Jackson Love Story] ✔

Chapter 34: Hope is Dead

Michael was grim by the time he opened the door to his bedroom. His heart was tight in his chest, and though he stepped with confidence, his hands trembled and knees felt weak. Nicole was sitting in the same spot she always did when she would study in his room, cross-legged in the middle of the bed. He'd missed the sight. She was engrossed in one of his books, not noticing as he approached.

Michael: Nicole?

She jumped, startled in a way that would typically make him laugh. But not today.

Nicole: Geez, Michael, are you trying to give me a heart attack!?

Standing at the foot of the bed, his hands were in his pockets. Michael's eyes were vacant, making Nicole wonder if things didn't go as planned with their recording. She closed the book and crawled towards him on her knees, reaching to pull him down on the bed with her, but he didn't reciprocate her touch. Instead, he stepped back.

Nicole: You guys finished awfully soon... Is everything okay?

Michael: What did you say to my brothers?

Nicole: ... Huh?

Michael: Everyone knows you and I are having sex because of something you said. What did you tell them?

Nicole: Oh...

Sitting back on her heels, Nicole pursed her lips and tried to remember the details of that night.

Nicole: I-- uh, I don't know... They were telling me about groupies they had on the road and the fun they would have, that kind of thing... So I said you and I have fun too. I don't know. It was a joke... Kind of...?

She looked up to see he was clearly not satisfied by that answer.

Michael: Then how do they know about our road trip?

Nicole: Uh... I don't remember--

Michael: What do you mean you don't remember!? When was this? Weren't you there!?

His voice was deeper and louder than she was used to, making her try again to focus on her words.

Nicole: It was Family Day... I got hungry in the middle of the night and they were all up drinking so I sat with them--

Michael: You were drunk!?--

Nicole: No, Michael. I had one drink, that's it. I was just tired and don't remember everything we said... I mean, you and I had a pretty intense night. It was difficult to think about anything else...

She grinned and reached for him again, reminding Michael of that night and the endless satisfaction they shared. The view from between her thighs. He bit his lip, suddenly able to taste her sweet, salty, body again. Then he shook his head, pushing the thoughts away as he took another step back, his arms now crossed at his chest.

Michael: No, Nicole-- Why would you talk about that? It's none of their business!

Nicole: I don't understand why you're so angry, Michael. We're adults. We have good sex. What's the big deal?

Michael: The big deal is that it's MY LIFE and I don't want the whole world involved!

Nicole: Actually, Michael, it's my life too. And if I want to tell people, I can.

He turned sharply, wanting to run away from this conversation, but unsure where he could go. So Michael paced quickly, both hands covering his forehead as he tried to think. While she was right, it was both of their sexual relationship in question, it was HIS brothers that she disclosed this personal information to. HIS image would be tarnished. HE would be the one left to face Joseph. Michael stopped suddenly, feeling his body crash into something familiar. He dropped his hands to see Nicole standing in front of him. No longer grinning, her expression matched his.

Nicole: Look, Michael-- I'm sorry. If I knew you'd be so upset, I wouldn't have said anything. I didn't know... I'm sorry, okay?

Her hands reached cautiously to his chest, smoothing the buttons of his shirt.

Nicole: Please forgive me... Professor?

With eyebrows raised like an apologetic puppy, she pressed up for a kiss. But again, Michael turned away.

Michael: You betrayed me.

Michael was looking past her, to what, she couldn't tell. Nicole peeled her hands away, holding them to her own heart now as those three words pounded in her head. It made her blood boil.

Nicole: I betrayed you? That's bullshit. BULL SHIT, Michael Jackson! If you want to walk around here keeping secrets from your own family, that's YOUR problem, not mine! The least you could do was fill me in on all your lies before you put me in the middle of it-- but you didn't! I looked like a fool! How do you think that makes me feel, huh!? -- And you know what else? Those are YOUR brothers. Maybe you should be a little more angry with them, instead of trying to blame everything on me.

Michael's face turned to a snarl with widened nostrils and an arched brow. His eyes now darker than she'd ever seen before as he stepped right up to her, squeezing her upper arm forcefully until her neck and shoulders tensed. The more she struggled to pull away, the more pain she felt.

Michael: Don't you dare talk to me about my family. You've been around a couple months, so you think you know what it's like, huh!? Until you've walked in MY shoes, living in MY world every God-damned day, don't you DARE tell me who I can and cannot be angry with! What we do in this bed-- or anywhere else-- is your business and mine-- And THAT'S IT, you hear me!?

His grip tightened, shaking her, as he waited for a response. Finally she nodded slowly with an uncomfortable fear in her stomach. He released her aggressively, forcing Nicole to stumble backwards into his desk. She watched his back turn to pace again. Never had Nicole seen him angry like this before, much less filled with a rage directed at her. She missed her soft Michael with the kind eyes and easy giggles. Her voice was less than a whisper.

Nicole: ... I said I was sorry, Michael.

He said nothing. She could barely choke out the words as she felt the pressure of tears building behind her eyes.

Nicole: I think I should go...

She hesitated, hoping he'd accept her apology and ask her to stay. But still Michael said nothing. And as she reached for the door, he didn't even turn around.