I See Your Soul [An Original Michael Jackson Love Story] ✔

Chapter 36: Sunflower 🌻

Saturday, December 22, 1979

Nicole's apartment had never been cleaner. Her Christmas shopping was done days ago. She'd read every book and watched every movie she owned at least 3 times and nothing left in the library seemed to interest her anymore. It was official, she was bored. She missed Michael and there wasn't enough to keep her distracted from the heartache. After the first 48 hours of leaving her phone off the hook, the silence was now deafening. She couldn't even listen to the radio, every station, every song reminded her of him. So she would watch the weather channel, with the volume loud, as they talked about snow storms in every corner of America.

She cried once or twice, usually late at night when she couldn't avoid her thoughts any longer. In a way, it didn't feel like they were over... But in a way, it did. Nicole expected there to be a finality. A strong, "I don't want to be with you anymore," from one of them, like the way relationships always ended in the movies... But if that never happened, did it mean they were still together? Nicole hoped so ... Sometimes.

For the first time in the length of their relationship, Nicole saw a side of Michael that really disturbed her. He was violent and aggressive in a way that was unfair and spiteful. How could she forgive a man who was potentially abusive and ignored her apology? Was this a red flag? ... However, he'd never treated her that way before. And, as she told herself repeatedly since the night they met, Michael Jackson is human. He's not just a singing cherub with dazzling dance moves, he's a man. And that man had every right to be angry with her.

It was late in the afternoon as Nicole re-organized her bag for the third time. She'd be leaving to visit her family for Christmas tomorrow and would stay until New Years. She considered leaving days ago, craving love more and more every morning she woke up alone, but she was afraid to raise their concerns. What would she even say when they inevitably asked, "How's Michael?" After all they went through just a month ago, she was terrified to tell them it was all in vain.

Nicole wandered out to the kitchen again. Knowing she should cook herself a real meal but lacking the energy, it was time for another snack. All she had left were peanuts. The annoying ones still in the shell that Michael loved to eat. She laughed, remembering how frustrated she got when he was eating them in bed one night. Michael just giggled, brushing the crumbs to the floor, only irritating her more. He laughed harder. Then they sat on the floor together, kissing and feeding each other peanuts until Michael hand-picked all the casings from the floor to her satisfaction. She swore then she'd never buy those stupid nuts again... but here she was...

She stood in front of the television with a handful of shells as the newscaster showed a man shoveling snow from his car. How depressing. There was an odd clicking noise suddenly coming from behind the screen. Just what she needed, her only source of entertainment was breaking down. She muted the volume, then moved her ear closer. It had stopped... Then soon started again. Pressing her ear to the back only made the noise seem farther away... Maybe something was wrong with the refrigerator? As she walked to the kitchen, the noise seemed distant again. It must've been coming from the wall.