Where It All Started

I'm Worried About Her:

~Edythe Blythe's POV~
Today I stay home. I've been given a month off of work, Aaron says that in reality I should take a lot longer off considering what happened to me. I never told anyone what went on in the basement that night but the unsub took matters into his own hands and spilt everything to the whole team. He found it hilarious, entertaining. There's nothing entertaining about what happened that night. That night was one of many horrible nights in my life.

Aaron woke up early for work, that's why I'm awake. He hadn't left me alone since then. I try to assure him that I am fine and there's no need to babysit me, he insists that he stays. So, I let him stay. He makes breakfast every morning even though I don't eat much and he tries to call or text or have García call every few hours to check up on me to make sure I'm alright. I always say that I am. 

I wish people would stop asking me a question they already know the answer too. Of course I am not fine, but I will never admit that. My pride and ego is too big. My father raised a rather stoic woman. I don't want that to ever crack. Cracking means letting people in, it means becoming weak, it means hurting.

~Aaron Hotchner's POV~

I head to work leaving Edythe alone again. It's been a week since I came back to work, but I'm still worried about her. That she isn't as okay as she says she's is. At work everyone has been stunned at the realization that Edythe and I have been something more in the past. So the way that I act now doesn't phase them. Morgan doesn't believe I should be seeing her, that I should be trying to win Haley back or at least letting her know it was Edythe I've been sleeping with. I agree, she deserves to know, but not today. I will tell her eventually but as of right now I'm focused on Edythe and helping her cope with what has happened to her. She doesn't need anymore things loaded onto her plate. My undying loyalty to Edythe over Hayley shows now, and I don't try to hide it anymore. I don't feel guilty about it anymore. 

I allow myself to be happy in the moment and with the things I have in my life now. 

I know they don't mean to but I hear the whispers of them talking about Edythe and I. Mainly Edythe. I assure them constantly that it isn't her fault but Morgan especially loves to point out that it's her fault just as much as it is mine. García defends her daily. Reminding them that she and I are their friends apart from work partners and that neither of us should be judged. Though I disagree for my case at least. I understand the lack of respect I have gained, and I understand the gossip. Edythe didn't know any better she was always doing what I asked of her or what she knew I wanted, but I on the other hand. I'm the liar, I'm the cheater, I'm the one that took my wedding ring off, I didn't say no, I told her to stay, I made her stay. I pulled her clothes off layer by layer. I wanted her. This mess is on me. I hate that she gets the blame for it. If she knew I was a married man she would have never came anywhere near me. I looked so pathetic and harmless in that bar that night, that she allowed me a strange man inside of her home. She was acting with a pure heart of gold and I gave her this to deal with in return. That I am sorry for, that I feel guilty about. I used to justify it in my head that my marriage was failing anyway, and that Hayley cheated on me first. There is no excuses anymore. Things just are. 

I try my best to focus on the case today but it's relatively hard to run a team that's lost their respect for you. That's something I'm going to have to build back up over time. Reid hasn't spoken to me since the truth came out. He thinks that I took advantage of her, and that even now my position of power is influencing how she behaves with me. I want to tell them but it is me who has been bewitched. I cannot get her off of my mind even when I try and she has me attached to strings that only she can control. Whatever she wants of me, she could have. I have no free will left when It comes to her. Morgan is angry that I could be someone who cheats on their wife, that lies to their wife. He thinks that I shouldn't get to be happy while Hayley is off someone completely and utterly destroyed. They don't know about our fighting though, they don't know she walked out on me first. And I don't tell them. I can give her that. Emily and JJ keep their opinions to theirselves, Rossi constantly checks in on me and García is trying to pull everyone back together. It isn't working in her favor as much as she would hope though.