Where It All Started

I Never Hated Goodbyes Before:

"Ma'am you can't leave yet you haven't been discharged." I turn to the doctor speaking to me. "Then discharge me." I state plainly. "I can't, I really shouldn't." I shake my head. "I know I can leave, even if it's against medical advice so discharge me." He looks at me stunned for a moment. "Please hurry I have places to be." I rush him. He gets my papers and I sign them all without reading them.

When I arrive at my apartment I grab my suitcase and start putting things into it. I don't need more than that and a duffel bag and my purse. I don't buy many things knowing I'll never stay in one place for long. I sigh as I fold my clothes. My phone buzzes in my pocket and I could see a few text from Aaron, I choose to ignore them. There isn't much to say to him and I know if I reply then he'll try to get me to explain things that I clearly can't. He'll make this harder than it has to be, then it's suppose to be. My phone rings again and I look at it. Rhydain. I put it back down after declining and my phone rings again. I answer. "Stop calling me! I don't want to talk!" I yell into the phone. "Oh, ouch. Sorry to disturb you. I was told you went home form the hospital I was just checking in on you." I calm down realizing it's Reid who called me. "Sorry." I say as I put the call on speaker sitting the phone down so that I could finish packing. I take things off of my dresser throwing them into the bag. "What are you doing?" He questions. "I'm packing." He's silent for a moment. "Are you taking a vacation."
"No."
"Oh."
"Mhm." I walk into the bathroom grabbing a few necessities. "Where are you going?" He continues to question me. "I don't know." I know this puzzled him  but there was no hint of it in his voice. "Then why are you leaving?" I zip up my suitcase and pull it down from my bed onto the floor sitting upright on its wheels. "Because I can't stay here anymore." I reply blatantly. "Is it because of today? The job isn't always this bad or dangerous." He explains. "No, I know. It isn't that." I defend. "Oh. Well is it because of Aaron you know with Jack now is it too much? Because if it's something you're not ready for I'm sure Hotch will understand if you talk to him about it. You guys could take a break or you live on your own for a while." I shake my head. "It isn't about Jack either Spence." I stress. "Then I don't understand did Aaron do something or say something to upset or hurt you?" I zip up my duffel bag sitting it on top of the suitcase as I finish packing. "No, he didn't do anything. Well he did but that isn't why I'm leaving I just- I can't explain it I just have to leave okay?" I don't mean to get annoyed with him but he's asking so many questions that I don't have an answer to. "What about the rest of the team do they know you're leaving?"

"No."

"You should come tomorrow to at least tell everyone else." Tell everyone goodbye? I don't think so. "I can't do that. Definitely not, someone will try to talk me into staying or Garcia will cry and I don't want to be responsible for making her cry." I shake my head disagreeing with his advice. "We'll miss you. I'll miss you." He quickly adds. "I know."

"Can you at least sleep on it and think it over, I think the team deserves to know you're leaving." He tries to convince me again and with all honesty it almost works. Spence is my family how can I deny him? "I'll sleep on it, I'll think about coming in but I make no promises." He deserves that, a chance at least, a pause, a second case, Aaron deserves that. They all do.

"That's all I can ask for." He replies. "Goodnight Edythe."

"Goodnight Spencer." I wait on the line until I hear the click of him hanging up. I plop down on my bed laying on my back shutting my eyes. I power my phone off to avoid hearing the constant buzzing of the ringer whenever someone text or calls me. I shut my eyes and try to get some sleep.

I didn't sleep well last night so I wake up bright and early. I kept dreaming about what it would be like if my father found me, if he found all of us. It was a nightmare. All of us sitting ducks basically, all in the hospital waiting for him to arrive. I'm laying in bed hooked up to machines, wires, and needles in my arm as Lexie, mom and Rhydain sit in chairs beside me, worriedly for a little while and then we're happy, so happy just to have each other again as a family but when I look over to the door instead of seeing the doctor, or Aaron or Spencer or JJ or just about anyone other than my father I see him. And I freeze not knowing what to say or do and as he starts walking toward me my heart pounds beating out of my chest. I can't breathe. My family once sitting around me we're not longer there, the chairs were empty. I sit up quickly trying to pull out all of the wires but he's already next to me. He grabs ahold of my arm tightly. "Did you really think you could get away form me that easily?" He asks in a dark sinister tone. My eyes widen as he tries to drag me out of bed I try to fight back but he's stronger than me. He drags me over to the door and down the hospital hallway as everyone stands there watching me. Aaron watching me, not doing anything to stop him. No one helps me. He turns away from me as my father drags me out. I shoot up covered in sweat out of breath, I guess I tried to fight him off in real life too. I walk into the bathroom to take a cool shower to calm down.