A hearts call

chapter 36

Run from the past...... Live in the future

Plane leaves in two  hours.  Time to eat.  Tacos sound good right now.  Standing in line I can feel something is off. Something doesn't feel right.  And just then my phone goes off.  Its Shannon.  Me" hey ".  S" hey! That's all you have  to say to me?  You fuckin walked away from me and say not a word where you are going !".   Me" you done yelling? ".    S" shut up stop acting like an ungrateful bitch would you?  ".   Me " want me to hang up on you? ".  S" go for it I don't think you got  the.. ".  Click!     Back in pocket.   My soft tacos are ready finally.  Smells good.  Vibrating again. Ohhhhh! Damn you!   Me" what?  Gonna call me a bitch again? ".     S" your sister is in intensive care she's on life support ".   My heart cracked in two painful pieces.  She's hurt?  No words leave my mouth.  I can't think of what she's going through and what he says next is even worse.  As I left the house my mother left as well,  to see my sister and on their way out of the street turning,  she got hit head on by a very large delivery truck.  S" your mom isn't gonna make it,  she's bad really bad ".   I drop to my knees and I feel like the biggest bitch. I should have forgiven her maybe its to late. To late to say  I'm sorry and I forgive you as well.

I jumped in my car and drove 80 to the hospital.  Soon as he sees my car he makes a bee line for me.   I lose it and feel his warm arms around me tight.  He senses immediately how I feel.  I need him,  he just knows.  We don't fight,  its not worth it,  not anymore.  Petty stuff.  Me" where is she,  both of them? ".   He leads the way and slowly opens a door to my sister,  she is badly brusied and not moving.  I want to hold her hand and let her know I am here.

She's warm and still doesn't make a move. Its killing me inside.  I haven't seen her for so long and now, it came to this. S" I'm gonna a be right outside ".  The door closes and I just tell her everything I need to say just in case this is the last time.  Oh god the thought of that was numbing.  Shannon came in and switched me places as I took a deep breathe and headed to my mothers room. Here goes everything.  Time to make things ok once and for all.

Her room is different to me.  Its filled with red roses and pink tulips. Must be from my grandmother. My mom grew up with her own garden and loved to plant and harvest dufferent color shades of tulips and roses.  And like ant normal girl,  she'd always prick her finger.  I wasn't any different.   I took a seat beside her and held her hand.  And to my surprise,  she opened her eyes and looks at me.  I see warmth in her eyes instead of cold. I see my moms heart. Mom" I love you ".  Me " I love you too,  I'm sorry ".   She reaches out her hands to me and I lean into and she kisses my head and i lose it crying finally letting my guard down and she is crying with me.  Mom" they say I might not make it. ".  Me " I know, I don't wanna lose you "  We hug and not let the world in on our love fest.  I want to tell her everything I've ever wanted to say.   Over the next two hours,  the past is laid to rest and I feel a sense of renewal and love. I missed that feeling,  an empty hole in my heart had finally been filled with the love from her. Felt warm inside,  not hollow. 

I left her room for a much needed breather and grabbed a drink of water and a muffin for Shannon.  And as I was walking back from my sisters room,  I could hear running foot steps.  Headed straight to my mothers room. My gut told me,  she had passed.  I stood just in her door way and the doctor came over to me and indeed had said " im so sorry,  she's gone ".   He hugged me and I cried on his shoulder.   I felt overwhelming sadness.  My shoulder was pulled and I turn and see Shannon I grip into him like I never have before.  S" I'm here,  im  so sorry ". We stood still and cried together.  He was my rock,  he'd always been the strong one.  And I needed him more than ever.