A hearts call

chapter 39

Three  months later ..

Shannon's P.O.V.

Here i sit in a the intensive care waiting room , its 2 in the morning.   She couldn't sleep and stared to feel really sick.  Her head was not there she started to studder and when I finally got her to look at me,  she blacked out.  I have no idea what's going on with her.  She was fine yesterday, today,  she's in critical condition.  It kills me that she's sick,  with whatever is going on. 

The clock seems to be tickling by ever so slowly and I am starving but I don't dare leave for she may wake up or I may miss something.   I had to step out because of her doctors wishes.  I didn't argue, I needed a breather anyways.   Still it plagued me of what had made her pass out.  My heart felt a pain like no other. If something as to happen to her it would kill me inside. Finally,  the doctor comes out and says I'm invited back in. 

The room felt cold even with  the heat  on.  I feel in my heart that something isn't right.  I grab a seat by her bed and hold her hand in mine.  I  feel my heart shift as she doesn't wake up.  Whats wrong with her? Why are the doctors keeping me in the dark?  I want some god damn answeres!  

Hours later the door opens,  the doctor comes inside. The look on his face tells me my suspicion is right.    D" I need to speak to you ".   We step our of the room and what he tells me makes my heart sink.  S" what do you mean she has cirrhosis?  She barely even drinks!".   D" its not just from alcohol consumption, there is many factors that can cause a body to develop this disease,  she needs to get checked a little bit more then we will have clear picture of what her time frame is ".   Me" TIME FRAME? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING SHES IS GONNA DIE? ".   D " please calm down and listen to me ".   I tried to wrap head around what was happening but it was to much I had to leave for a second to get some air before I go off on someone.  But before I get far he says something that cuts me deep.  D" her  pregnancy as well, we should probably talk about that and decide weather to keep the......".    I come  back and get in his face I'm done being nice.  S" you and I have nothing to discuss that's between me and my wife  not you!".    D" its very important that you..... ".   Me" that I what?  Tell her she may die or should I tell her first that our unborn child may die hmmm? Which one do you think I should break her heart with first?  I need to breathe before I fuckin smash someone's face,  so if you will excuse me ".    

I walked away and left him standing there.  The second I reach the door and walked outside,  I lost all the strength I had left in me. I was gonna lose her,  my child wasn't gonna see the light in their mothers eyes or mine.   My world was crashing down around me and I wished I had never brought us back here.

A couple days last and they run some more test and sure enough, she has it and the flip side of it our child has a good  survival rate.  Julie on the other hand, that is the sad part.  The doctor fills me in on the procedures we can do.  I can give her  part of mine if we are a match and she will take meds for the rest of her life.  Or she will be placed on  a waiting list and wait till one becomes available.  Which in this world,  nothing ever comes as quick as you need or pray it will.  I come back to her bed and move piece of her hair to the side and kiss her forehead.  She's been sleeping a lot since we came here and doesn't eat much either. The doctor had advised her that she needs to eat. He hasn't had the chance to tell her she's having my child.  Her eyes won't stay open long enough for even me to say I love you and hear her say it back.  Its kills me she's sick and I feel absolutely helpless.