safety [Kakashi Hatake x OC]

eighty-eight

"Eri..." Kakashi breathed. Whenever she came around, he was never able to hide the expression in his one visible eye. 

Knowing it was completely unexpected that she would show up, the said girl sat on the grass and stretched out her legs with a light chuckle. "Yeah, hey." She tried not to stare at him, constantly flicking her gaze back and forth between the horizon and him. 

"Why are you here?" His voice was barely louder than a whisper. There was hurt in his tone.

"Well, Tsunade-sama gave you up pretty easily."

"How easy?"

"I just walked into her office and she gave me a key."

"Damn her." Kakashi muttered under his breath.

"Yeah, I figured you didn't want to be found."

This confused him. He could feel her eyes on him, but he struggled to look at her. "If you knew that, then why are you here?"

Eri could tell that there was a change in him; he seemed a little more on edge. "I guess... what it comes down to is that I'm confused." She brought a knee to her chest and rested her chin on it.

"What is there to be confused about?" Rather than finishing his sentence out loud, he finished it in his head: 'you already chose Anko.'

The girl sighed, allowing her hair to blow across her cheeks and get caught on her lips and eyelashes. "Kakashi, there is a huge gap in my memory of the last two years. Even though I don't remember anything, I still carry the emotions and feelings I've had for that time. And those are what are confusing."

Despite his budding frustration, he reached over and tucked her scattered strands of hair behind the ear closest to him, earning a gentle grin from her as she looked at him with her sad and distant eyes. They pierced straight through his mask, able to see every reaction on his face even though most of it was covered. He sat back and repeated, "What are you confused about?"

"Us."

She paused, then continued. "Kakashi, I can't stop thinking about you. I like Anko; I really do, but even with her I can't stop thinking about you. No matter how often I'm with her, you're still on my mind."

Kakashi's chest tightened. "What do you want, Eri?"

She hugged both of her knees and looked up at the man. She looked scared and unsure, but she was always brave. "Can you kiss me?"

"What?" He stiffened and the volume of his voice rose the slightest bit. His emotions began to get the better of him, which was something he tried not to let happen, especially with Eri as confused as she was. But at the same time, she was the one who brought it out of him.

"I know it's kind of a hard ask, but..."

"What would that solve?" His words became harsher.

"I think it would clarify some things for me... so please? It doesn't have to be some strange intense thing." She looked uncomfortable, but hopeful.

Kakashi sighed and physically leaned further from her. He sighed, and his brows pinched together in irritation. "Eri, no."

She looked away in defeat.

"I'm not gonna be a test subject to help you figure out your "'eelings,' or whatever." Anger flared within him, but at the root of it was just hurt. "How could you ask for something like that?"

She turned back towards him with wide, anxious eyes. Her eyelids trembled, nearly threatening tears. She had no expectation of him reacting in the way that he did. He was raising his voice and getting further and further away from her; it was justified, but it was still shocking.

"Was that your whole goal of being here? Did you just want to see what it felt like and hoped that would help you sort through your 'confusion?' What are you thinking, Eri?" 

"N-no... I just - I don't -"

"Eri, just leave."

"Kakashi?"

"I don't want you to use me to figure out your own crap. Please Eri, leave. Go home." He stood and gestured back towards the path that she walked up to him on. 

The girl couldn't bring herself to actually respond. Her dark eyes watered, and she wasn't sure how to react. She just stared at him. strong emotions welling within her.

Frustrated that she wasn't doing as he asked - to which she didn't understand why he seemed so hurt - Kakashi sighed irritably. He turned away from her and went to the cottage, muttering angrily, "Goodbye Eri."