I realize I fucked up. So much. The hurt and sadness in his eyes when he was waiting for me to say it back was crucial to me. He left with tears in his eyes, tears that I caused. I never thought I'll make Draco cry, but here we are.
I don't know what blocked me. Seriously, I have no idea. It's like I wanted to tell him, but I had a block in my mouth that kept me shut. If I could just turn back the time, if I could just...
But I can't do anything about it. At least for now.
If I look at it from the other side, Draco has hurt me many more times than I did. He caused me pain and embarrassment, too.
But...
I can't imagine how hard it must have been for him to confess such thing. Especially if he never said those words ever.
And me not saying it back...I feel so stupid.
Because I do love him so much.
I wish I could find him and explain it, but I'm scared how would he react. Draco's hurt, and when he's hurt he's cold and distant and does things that he later regrets.
So I'm not gonna do anything for now, just wait for a better while.
Me sinking in my thoughts caused me to almost miss my first class of today. It's Monday and I'm supposed to have Astrology for the first time, because the teacher has been ill for a long time.
I'm looking forward to this class, and would like to continue working with Astrology after I finish this school.
I decided to dress in something different today. I'm so sick and tired of wearing the same school robe day by day. So I put on a white shirt, a black mini dress underneath and added some jewelry. On my legs I put a knee high black see through stockings and black boots.
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I don't know if I can get a detention for not wearing a school robe, but I'm curious to find out.
I've never been to the Astrology class before, so I have no idea where it is, but I'm thinking it's somewhere near Divination classroom.
I left my room and went through the Slytherin common room, where Blaise and some girl - I'm not even sure she's a Slytherin - were kissing on a couch near the big fireplace. As soon as I noticed them, my body went through a little shock, because I thought no one would be there.
I went out of the common room, without them noticing me, and headed to the class. The castle looks very alive today, because the sun rays are illuminating the big halls with windows, making it look very pleasant. I haven't met many students in the corridors, I guess they're all having classes.
As I walked past the great hall, I realized that I haven't eaten anything since yesterday's lunch. As soon as I think of food, my stomach makes a hungry sound, longing for it to fill. But I don't really have time.
