56-Starting Over

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Previously on The Succubus

     When we both were finished, Nicki was back in my arms as we got back in the bed and waited for dinner and after we got over that mental hurdle, I managed to get some more amazing progress in her as I put her favorite Disney princess movie Tangled on the tv on low volume and she was actually able to enjoy it because the volume was low enough that the harsh sound effects weren't able to scare her. She had to wear her sad, but cute space mask on her face since her largest dose of medicine was given to her, but she was as content as she was gonna get for the night which obviously wasn't as content as she was with the babies, but any progress from her is amazing progress and I'm proud of her no matter what...


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Bey POV

After an extra week in the hospital, Nicki was finally being discharged to go home and I was extremely happy about that because Nicki would finally be in a familiar environment that could make her feel safer. The hospital wasn't terrible, but Nicki hates hospitals and it only makes her ptsd worse since every time she's been admitted into one, she's almost died.

So when Chelle finally told us that Nicki could finally go home, I was really relieved that Nicki could finally go somewhere where she felt more comfortable to further progress through her trauma.

And speaking of progress, we've made some moderately good strides this week. She's finally talking more which is just a few sentences a day, but that's still amazing when looking at where she started. She'll only talk to me as she's too scared and uncomfortable with talking to anyone else. However the only exceptions are the babies to which whenever we FaceTimes them (because I still haven't brought the babies in for caution), she'll do her best to interact with them in some way whether it be by saying hi or trying to get them to say stuff. I can honestly say that Nicki is the calmest when she's on FaceTime with them as she tunes everything out and only focuses on them. For those 30-45 minutes, she doesn't have to worry about panic attacks or triggers or her fears. She just watches the babies do their thing and gets immersed in their cute infatuation with us on the screen and I'm really proud of her because she didn't have to interact with or talk to any one of us, but she feels comfortable enough to and that's the baby steps I'm talking about.

     She's cried so many times because she's missed us and was afraid she'd never see us again, but every morning when she finally senses that I'm actually with her and every time she sees the babies, she gets this look on her face that shows me how grateful she is that we weren't taken away from her. Little does she know that I'm the most thankful being on this planet because she wasn't taken away from me and our miracles...









     As far as her other progress, I've been able to work with her on her fear of pretty much everything to the point where we've reached a small accomplishment and it deals with her sound triggers. If there's a small sound like a ding on a phone or the beep of her monitors, she'll jump and cower into me fearfully, but she won't meltdown. However if there's a sound of high frequency like a door accidentally slamming or a loud cry from outside of the room, she'll still fall right into a ptsd shock attack. So now we've progressed enough to have a range or spectrum that determines how badly Nicki will be triggered and it's progress because depending on the trigger, I can calm her down easier or at least I'll know what measures to take to soothe her.

     Her other progress stems from those low frequency sound triggers because those don't trigger the sporadic flashes of her powers. For the small triggers that make her cling to me, her eyes will only turn transparent and her hands will glow, but'll never spark up. However, if the trigger is loud, she'll go into full on defense mode and many things so far have gone missing in this room because it seems like that power is the most common one that comes out in defense.

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